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Lend me a hand, because you've known these people all of one hour more than me

The summer series began with a bang when bodybuilder Jessie (from season 10) entered the house at the tail end of the premiere to lock up HoH duties for the week. Knowing that his fellow housemates had known each other for approximately 60 minutes more than he, Jessie charged his athlete clique – specifically Russell – with the responsibility of telling him who he should put up on the Chopping Block.

A good strategy, considering it kept a target off his back for the early part of the game. But at the same time, the move came off as a bit ignorant. Jessie's Cliquemates surely didn't know the house any better than he. It'd be like asking your dorm mates on the first day of college how to get to building X. They're not going to know!

Regardless, Jessie went with Lydia and Chima, who elected to go up as a pawn.

This much of the game passed with civility and a certain amount of respect. Once Tuesday rolled around, however, assumptions you may have had about nearly all of the HouseGuests went decidedly out the window.

Games so complex even Jigsaw would be impressed

I don't know who's in charge of designing the games the HouseGuests compete in to vie for food, HoH, Power of Veto and the like. But whoever that person – or team – may be, I hope they're aware that Big Brother 11's competitions have been nothing short of, say, embarrassing.

Last week, the show forced all members of the house to suspend from a contraption hanging by a giant pair of granny panties. (Cue Julie's requests for a super wedgie). On Tuesday, HouseGuests competed for the PoV by poking holes into massive pimpies (off a game board representing a puberty-stricken face), removing Scrabble-like tiles from said pimples and using them to spell out a word to their liking. (The longest one would determine the winner).

Natalie's word, LAST, obviously didn't make the cut. (Though she did come close when you've got guys like Jeff incorrectly spelling a word like TECHNOTRONICS). With Chima and Lydia not having the right letters to spell out SUPERFICIALITY and CIVILIZATIONS, respectively, Russell came through in the clutch with SHOTGUN, which, though uber simple, ended up winning the game for the athletes.

This competition paved the way for the season's first fight between, unfortunately for the athletes, members of the same clique. What began as a nothing flight between Russell and Jeff quickly escalated into a verbal brawl between Jeff and Natalie, who accused Jeff of isolating himself from the rest of the clique.

What was said between the two isn't of much importance here. The fact that Jeff lost all of his athlete allies is. As Natalie stormed off, Jeff told her: "Everyone on my team is awful. Why don't you spell that for your word?"

Ronnie changes the game

With the athletes in turmoil, Lyida further stirred the pot by sacrificing the innocent, non-threatening Braden to preserve her own fate in the house. The offbeat girl confessed to Natalie and HoH Jessie that Braden schmoozes and tries too hard to get on everyone's good side. According to Lydia, Braden needed to be taken out of the game before it was too late.

Sensing his buddy was doomed, Ronnie compromised his alliance with the athletes by secretly telling Braden that Jessie and Russell were scheming to kick him out of the house. Russell would later confront Ronnie about it, to which Ronnie – weighing about the same as Russell but with three times the body fat – would ineffectively play dumb.

Once put on the Chopping Block, Braden tore through the house, verbally abusing whomever he ran into. Some deserved it (Lydia submitted his name to the athletes in the first place), and some didn't (Kevin?). These dramatics fueled yet another shouting match between a peeved Lydia and Southern belle Jordan, who Lydia no longer considered a friend for reasons not important here.

On Jordan's command, secret factions quickly formed down the middle of the house. Jordan, Jeff, Laura, Michele, Casey and Ronnie on one end. Jessie, Natalie, Russell, Lydia and Kevin the other. With strength in numbers, Jordan's side fully expected to gain the upper hand by evicting Chima on Thursday and promoting the rescued Braden to their side.

Then Ronnie sold his soul to the devil by strangely voting to evict Braden, sending the house into a tizzy and completely compromising the plan. Oh, and he also eked out an HoH win at the tail end of Thursday's episode. So who knows what'll happen now that the little weasel now has full control.

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