Stealth Entertainment: Big Stan

By Scott Lumley

July 6, 2009

The picture that proves this is pure fantasy.

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Hollywood is a machine. Every week, every month and every year countless films are released into theaters and not every one is as successful as the studio heads would hope. Sometimes the publicity machine was askew, sometimes the movie targeted an odd demographic, sometimes the release was steamrolled by a much larger movie and occasionally the movie is flat out bad.

But Hollywood's loss is our gain. There is a veritable treasure trove of film out there that you may not have seen. I will be your guide to this veritable wilderness of unwatched film. It will be my job to steer you towards the action, adventure, drama and comedy that may have eluded you, and at the same time, steer you away from some truly unwatchable dreck.

Hopefully we'll stumble across some entertainment that may have slid under your radar. Wish us luck.




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Big Stan (2008)

When it comes to Stealth Entertainment, I may very well have found the stealthiest film of all time. Big Stan never actually had a theatrical release in the US. It did not have a marketing campaign that I saw and its actual theatrical take was a mere $8,335,587.00. The majority of that box office came from Russia, Spain, Mexico and Australia.

Big Stan is the story of, well, Stan Minton. Stan is a very successful con man whose luck runs out and is arrested for fraud and convicted. Facing three years in jail, he hires a crooked lawyer to help him, but all the lawyer can do is get his surrender date delayed six months so he can get his affairs in order. The lawyer recommends that Stan skip town, but Stan can't do that as his assets have been frozen and if he does it will mean forfeiting millions of dollars. Unsure of what jail is like, Stan ventures out to a seedy, run down, rough looking bar and proceeds to pay a large burly man to explain to him what prison is like.

Stan learns to his horror that prison is incredibly violent and that his most likely fate involves sexual assault, A *LOT* of sexual assault. Stan's interview subject explains that in prison, it's all about violence, and rape is the most violent act there is, so Rob should probably expect it frequently because Stan is about as threatening as a kitten at this point.

Yes, you read that right folks, Rob Schneider made a comedy action film about prison rape. Apparently he felt that the high concept stories about male gigolos were tapped out. And when I say that Schneider made this film, I mean that he really made it. Schneider acted in it, directed it and I think there's a fairly good chance he may have been involved in the catering as well because the very first thing that comes up in the credits is the name of the on-set catering company. (Sorry Rob, I don't remember it.)


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