Mythology

Re-Makes

By Martin Felipe

June 24, 2009

Sadly, this picture is more entertaining than the entirety of the new Land of the Lost movie.

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We all have fond childhood memories of shows, movies, stories that consumed us in our formative years. As we develop our critical facilities, we begin to realize that many of the things we remember as being just earth shattering in their quality, in fact suck. As a generation X-er, I'm not immune to this phenomenon, and as my generation continues to infiltrate the popular culture, many of these embarrassing properties are getting the full remake treatment. I don't necessarily see this as a bad trend. I'm not anti-remake, by any means. In fact, some of these awful artifacts have a genuine seed of a good idea at their core and, if allowed to flourish, could yield a high quality result. And yet, second time around, they still usually seem to suck.

Take Land of the Lost. I'm only slightly ashamed to admit that I devoured this thing as a kid. As most kids do, I loved the idea of playing amongst the dinosaurs. As I got a few years older, the concept of multi-dimensions seemed captivating. The pylons as portals between worlds and times seem to hold so many possibilities. I started thinking about the ancient ruins and what stories lay within those walls. The Pakuni are like some missing link species, and, like all kids, the lumbering Sleestak terrified me.

Well, in preparation for the new movie, I rewatched a few episodes of the Krofft production on hulu.com. I knew going in that it wouldn't be what I remembered. I figured it would be dated, the special effects wouldn't hold up, and that it would seem more trippy than fascinating. I was unprepared for how awful it really is. It's beyond dated, it's borderline incompetent. I'm talking Ed Wood level cinema. All of the usual culprits are present - poor stop motion/blue screen effects, Styrofoam, set pieces, rubber monster suits - but what struck me the most was the shrill acting and the tell-don't-show dialogue. Just an utter debacle.

Yet, I maintain the core is solid. There's potential for a killer adventure tale. A family marooned in a dimensional way station, a landing pad between worlds and between times. How do they get home? What do they encounter? What does it all mean? So fun, so many possibilities. If only someone would take it seriously.




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Well, Brad Silberling and Will Ferrell don't take it seriously. I'm not talking about the comedy - I actually do find Ferrell funny. I'm talking about the camp. I make the comparison above to Ed Wood. Silberling takes the approach of recreating the cheese factor of the show. Problem is, camp isn't what makes the show special or enduring, it's the fascinating world. If anything, the camp taints what could be an otherwise fascinating tale. Imagine how good the movie could have been if, rather than cheesing it up, Silberling had taken more of a Jurassic-Park-between-realities approach. You could still have had Ferrell to provide a quip here or there to break the tension, but treat the world as a real threat. Have real dangers and ground it more. If Silberling doesn't take it seriously, how are we viewers supposed to?


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