Take Five

By George Rose

June 16, 2009

The only thing better than a catfight is a catfight complete with 80s hair!

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Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny (2006)

The total of the previous three films came to $35. Not bad for three great movies, considering a new Blu-Ray release goes for that same price (and really, who is trying to buy He's Just Not That Into You this week?). I used the remainder of my gift certificate to get new headphones for my iPod and the remainder of my time walking through the standard definition DVDs. One thing I noticed was that so many of the movies being sold are from the last two or three decades. There is very little offered from the past before that, which is quite sad since it makes it that much more difficult for me to find, watch and recommend those "classics" certain people keep nagging me about.

Instead of searching harder I landed on Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny. If you want an award winner, go back to the top of my list and check out The Untouchables. If you're young enough to appreciate the occasional insanity that is Jack Black, then you'll love this pick. Tenacious D is the musical genius of Black and his buddy Kyle Glass (you may have head/downloaded the song "Fk Her Gently"). After releasing a few of their unforgettable tunes, they decided to unite and make a movie loosely based on their adventures together. In order to become the band they know they have deep inside them, they set out on a mission to get the Pick of Destiny, made from the chipped tooth of Satan.

The road there and back is full of hilarious vocals, out-of-this-world guitar riffs, sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. Once scene, involving JB tripping on mushrooms, is particularly mesmerizing as he flies through the air as Sasquatch's son. Little deep thought is required to invest in the film but the payoff is massive... if you have an appreciation for mindless humor. I can't judge if you don't, seeing as how I personally don't enjoy mobster movies, but for those seeking high times with some friends I recommend you try this Pick of Destiny.


Zombie Strippers (2008)

A lot of great movies aren't released into theaters. Most direct-to-DVD movies aren't worth the time of day but some are sent straight to the shelves because of their inability to tap into the mainstream. That doesn't mean they aren't entertaining. It just means not enough people would pay to see it, it doesn't expect any Academy Award nominations, or it's too graphic and would probably be slapped with an NC-17 rating. One of those releases is Zombie Strippers. I happened to pass this DVD while rummaging the isles of Best Buy and remembered having rented it from Netflix during my senior year of college (who can resist such a tempting title?).

The plot is extremely simple: in the near future, a government agency creates a dead-cell-reanimating virus to help bring back soldiers that were lost in one of the many unnecessary wars being fought at the time. Naturally, the virus is unleashed. This is the start to many of the zombie horror films we know today but shows a side of the spread unlike anything we've ever seen. Rather than show a post-apocalyptic view of the aftermath, we are introduced to the notion of zombie strippers. The virus finds itself in the town of Sartre, Nebraska, and more specifically, in one of their underground strip clubs. After a stripper catches the infection (I'm still talking about the zombie virus, people), we learn how perverse this small town really is. Zombie is the newest and most exciting fetish these townsfolk have ever seen and they begin rallying behind the undead dancers instead of the clean white trash. Should the uninfected stars conform to the latest craze and reap the monetary benefits or should they keep their "class" and go bankrupt for the sake of morality? What do you think they decide?

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