Trailer Hitch

By Eric Hughes

June 10, 2009

They've just realized they're at a nudist beach.

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Welcome to Trailer Hitch, BOP's look at the latest movie trailers to hit the Internet. This week: Some truly awful movies are afoot, with one exception. I insist you look away. Just look away.

The Hurt Locker – Opens June 26th

Especially with the war still going on – and having friends and family currently putting their lives on the line for this country overseas – I hardly thought I'd ever get behind a movie that commercializes the Iraq War for profit. But The Hurt Locker has stood me corrected. It appears, at least from the trailer, like a quality drama about the deathly consequences a bomb squad team faces in present day Iraq.

The script comes from first timer Mark Boal, who spent time as an embedded journalist with a real bomb squad. He's a freelance writer for The Village Voice and Rolling Stone, among others, and penned the story that inspired the movie In the Valley of Elah.

Grade: B

Bandslam – Opens August 14th

What very well could have been spun off from a TV show on Disney, Bandslam tracks one group of friends' struggle to make it big when they enter a school music competition with the intention of taking home the rockfest's top prize: a record deal. It's School of Rock with older kids and no Jack Black. Remind me again why I should see this thing.

A pleasant surprise in the trailer is Lisa Kudrow, who plays the supportive mother for one of the kids. She holds a special place in my heart along with ladies like Jane Lynch and Kristen Johnston, who I'm strangely supportive of no matter what movies they sign up for.

Grade: D




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A Perfect Getaway – Opens August 14th

Hot people get dumped off at an exotic locale. They make friends with the locals. People start dying. Something tells me we've seen this scenario before. That's because we have. And nothing seems to be different –story-wise – about this rather bland looking thriller.

New cast additions to the age-old scenario are Steve Zahn and Timothy Olyphant, who recently had a star turn on Damages' second season.

Grade: D-

The Final Destination – Opens August 28th

Oh, brother. Not to be confused with Final Destination, THE Final Destination is the fourth entry in this increasingly irrelevant horror series where man fights death itself.

What I can't understand is it's literally the same story being told over and over again. One character cheats death. He shows off to his friends about it. Some people die. Roll credits. There's no progress.

So answer me this, America: What the ef is wrong with you?

Even worse, THE Final Destination isn't even the one with the sick car crash. That happened two movies ago. In its place, we've got what looks to be a junky NASCAR pileup, followed by some Saw-inspired death sequences.

Grade: F

New Moon – Opens November 20th

Given that New Moon was my least favorite Twilight book, the trailer – and the idea of a movie adaptation – don't impress me much.

In Summit's extended tease, it's revealed that Bella and Edward are more in love than ever. That is, until she stupidly (albeit mistakenly) self-inflicts a paper cut in the presence of vampires. Smooth one, Bella! The family's bloodthirsty reaction causes Edward to flee the scene, vowing never to run into Bella again.

Oh, the drama.

Look, I try not to mock here as I'm one of few males to have made it through the whole series anyway. But New Moon is just a weak chapter in the Twilight saga, and its adaptation looks to be about the same.

Grade: D+


     


 
 

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