March 2009 Box Office Forecast

By Rorschach

March 6, 2009

Put on a happy face.

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Rorschach's Journal: March 6, 2009. Old discarded popcorn and spilled Coca-cola in the aisles of the theaters. Gum stuck to the floor, shoe tread in the middle of it. The movie industry is afraid of me. Watchmen arrive in theaters today. Full of filth and sex and murder. Retribution. All other movies and studios are afraid of me. Will never let them create posters and toys and coffee beans bearing my image. Will draw my own patterns on this dishonorable world. Will leave my mark.

Rorschach's Journal: March 27, 2009. Someone's imprisoning creatures that seem not to belong in society. Somebody knows why. Somebody knows. And nobody cares but me. If I don't investigate, the world will come crashing down around us in flames and ash while Monsters vs. Aliens make our habitat their battleground. I ponder this disturbing thought.

Rorschach's Journal: March 13, 2009. Children in Race to Witch Mountain cry out for help even as they plot to destroy our world. Man known as "The Rock" offers them shelter and assistance. He is soft and weak. Talks too much of pastry and strudels. There is nothing to be helped if these children are eaten by dogs. If alien kids were to look up and shout, "Save us!" I would whisper, "no."

Rorschach's Journal: March 20, 2009. Thinking about Paul Rudd and Jason Segel in I Love You, Man leaves bad taste in mouth. Concept of "man dates" is foul to my mind. Product of these all too liberal times, to be sure. Rudd has pudgy pear shape that belies his self-indulgence. Possibly homosexual? Must remember to investigate further.

Rorschach's Journal: March 13, 2009. Is not fate that causes people in Last House on the Left to be violently dismembered. Torn apart. Bloody and gruesome. Is not God. Morally blank teens pack theaters as body parts splatter. Should let them be tortured and fed to pigs. Vile.

Rorschach's Journal: March 20, 2009. Corporate spies like Julia Roberts and Clive Owen in Duplicity likely responsible for current financial crisis that is destroying the world. Have been inclined to pay visits to CEOs at locations like ING and Citibank. Hurt people. Handouts to businesses and pathetic homeowners suffocating country. Am feeling planet turn under my feet. Makes me queasy.


Rorschach's Journal: March 20, 2009. Is all too easy to believe that Nicolas Cage could be responsible for Armageddon in Knowing. Can also be seen as proof that there is no God. We live in oblivion. Why else would we go see not one but two National Treasure movies? Darkness weighs heavy on my heart. Streets will be overrun with fire. There will be Nic Cage, bald and overacting through it all.

Rorschach's Journal: March 27, 2009. Supernatural tales like those in The Haunting in Connecticut serve no purpose. There is no life after death. There are no ghosts after death. When we die, we are forsaken. Already we walk the streets in a world that is a void. Don't know why people must escape to theaters to be frightened. Our existence is plenty horrifying on its own.

Rorschach's Journal: March 13, 2009. Women's breasts draped across movie screens in Miss March. Decadent and flaunting skin. Sex dressed as humor should be stopped. Liberal ballerinas in charge of this country mostly responsible. People are too trusting. Especially with women.

Rorschach's Journal: March 27, 2009. John Cena protects a woman in 12 Rounds. As it should be. Just as he stood up for his country in The Marine, Cena never lets anyone retire him in this movie. Love interest in film, Ashley Scott, reminds me of my mother. Like Cena, I have no regrets. I have not lived my life as prostitute. Have been free of compromise. I'm not like any of you people. I don't like you. I see your true face. Must go out to the streets and get my exercise. Farewell.



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