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"You say stuff that just irritates me because you don't think. Maybe you need to control your mouth." -- Preston, the 2009 answer to Romeo Montague of Verona.

While the show has promised not to focus as much on the inside of airports, they have also announced an intention to demonstrate some scenic wonders of the world. The train ride from Zurich to Locarno accentuates this philosophy. Shots of mountain top cottages and thousand feet tall waterfalls have me dialing up my travel agent before I remember that the economy has collapsed and staycations are the trips of choice for Americans in 2009. But if someone can direct me to a Swiss Alps webcam or two, I'm all over that. Brad is with me on this, as the scenery and the experience reduce him to tears while his wife openly mocks him for the emotional outburst. Maybe she needs to control her mouth.

Christie and Jodi catch the biggest break of the first half of this episode. The outgoing women strike up a conversation with a woman currently residing in the area. As fate would have it, she has the exact same destination as the contestants do and promises to take the women where they need to go. Of course, this advantage would be for naught if the other travelers witnessed them departing with a local. Aware of this, the flight attendants sneak off while the others are busy studying their maps of the area. After a time, the others alert one another that a team is missing but the damage is done by then. Christie and Jodi are the first team to arrive at Church of San Antonio (all glory to Tim Duncan). Of course, the reward for this is slight. Teams will camp overnight and the first four will be allowed to proceed at 7:15 a.m., the next three will depart at 7:30 a.m. and the final four exit at 7:45 a.m. So, Christie and Jodi have bought themselves only a half hour over the last teams to arrive at this particular bunching.

The groupings are as follows: Tammy and Victor finish second, Margie and Luke are third, and Mark and Michael wind up fourth. These four teams will get to leave at 7:15 a.m. The trio of 7:30 departures are (in order of initial arrival) Brad and Victoria, Jaime and Cara, and Mel and Mike. The quartet of teams who will leave at 7:45 are Kisha and Jen (so much for that prep work, ladies), Amanda and Kris, Steve and Linda and (much later) Preston and Jennifer. These last two couples bicker the entire way to the sign-up sheet. I could do a research paper debating which duo is more combustible, but Steve and Linda are in the lead at the moment since Steve is making Linda cry. One of the oldest competitors this season, her physical weakness already stands out as problematic.

Nothing beats a good cup of coffee in the morning...except for bungee jumping from the second highest bungee equipment in the world. This is the thought process for today's first event. The contestants must race to Verzasca Dam, strap on a bungee and hope/pray that there is no manufacturing error with hardware. I am notorious for not being afraid of anything yet even I went a bit pale when I saw the distance from which the racers are expected to dive headfirst. I'm expecting multiple freakouts here.

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