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4:45 AM Turner Classic Movies
Craig's Wife (1936 USA): Married, no doubt, to a husband located via a personal ad on Craigslist. Hollywood newcomer Rosalind Russell stars as Harriet Craig, an upwardly mobile housewife who has parlayed husband Walter's (John Boles) career into a cash cow for her own benefit. When Walter gets into trouble with the police, Harriet does everything within her power to protect herself from any blowback — including lying to the rozzers. Directed by Dorothy Arzner and co-starring Billie Burke, Jane Darwell, and Thomas Mitchell, Craig's Wife was remade to superior effect in 1950 as a vehicle for Joan Crawford, which airs immediately following at 6:15 AM.

8:30 PM Showtime Extreme
Hard Eight (1996 USA): I have a feeling Paul Thomas Anderson's debut feature has previously aired in widescreen, but I don't think I've ever written about it, so I'll give it a plug today. The film features the well-lined visage of Philip Baker Hall as Sydney, a seen-it-all gambler living out the end of his string in seedy rundown Reno. Sydney meets John (John C. Reilly) in a local greasy spoon, takes a shine to him, and teaches him everything he knows, living vicariously through his protégé's success at the tables and affair with Clementine (Gwyneth Paltrow), a waitress who earns a little extra dough on the side by turning tricks. Things go swimmingly until one of Clementine's clients stiffs her for $300 — and John turns once again to his mentor for assistance in recovering the debt. Co-starring Philip Seymour Hoffman and Samuel L. Jackson, Hard Eight served notice that Anderson was a director to watch and marked the beginning of Paltrow's rise to stardom.

Thursday 01/08/09

6:40 AM More Max
I'm Not There (2007 USA): I'm not a Bob Dylan fan. Oh sure, I recognize that he wrote some great songs. Like a Rolling Stone. Knocking on Heaven's Door. All Along the Watchtower. Gotta Serve Somebody. Well, maybe not that one. But by and large: good songwriter. Right up there with Carole King and Gerry Goffin. Maybe a notch ahead of Burt Bacharach, a notch below Leiber and Stoller. But geez, Zimmy...don't open your mouth. It's just ugly. And the movies? Renaldo and Clara, 'nuff said. And I'm Not There? Apparently there are seven different iterations of His Bobness in it. It's making its small screen debut this morning. Most likely you'll go your way (and I'll go mine).

Friday 01/09/09

6:10 AM MGM HD
Sword of the Conqueror (1962 ITA-FRA): Jack Palance stars as Alboino, King of Lombardy, in this colorful sword and sandal epic from director Carlo Campogalliani. Alboini has the hots for Rosmunda (Eleanora Rossi Drago), daughter of fellow blueblood Cunimond (Manhattan Baby's Andrea Bosic), but she's already betrothed to straight arrow Amalric (Guy Madison). That doesn't stop Alboini from poaching on his rival's territory, and soon much blood — in full color, and in widescreen — will flow so that one man's lust for a medieval babe can be temporarily sated. This entertaining if quite average costume adventure is notable for the presence of Palance's brother Ivan in a supporting role: Ivan's only other film appearance was also beside his brother, in the wretched 1972 spaghetti western Tedeum (Sting of the West).

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