TiVoPlex

TiVoPlex for Tuesday, October 28, 2008 through Monday, November 3, 2008

By John Seal

October 26, 2008

If you tell me Ishtar sucks one more time, I'm gonna carve me a little Gaza Strip

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Friday 10/31/08

9:45 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Dunwich Horror (1970 USA): Cinematic adaptations of H. P. Lovecraft stories generally fail due to the incorporeal nature of the author's creations, which come to life in the reader's imagination but appear resolutely unimpressive on screen. The Dunwich Horror isn't much better than most Lovecraft films, but does feature a suitably creepy performance by Dean Stockwell as the offspring of a New England warlock who may — or may not — be carrying on the old family traditions. Ed Begley, Sandra Dee, and Sam Jaffe round out the cast to decent effect; this was another semi-successful effort by Dee to shuck off her Gidget image. The Dunwich Horror was also the first film written by future Academy Award winner Curtis Hanson, but his writing lacks distinction and certainly can't capture the true New England flavor of Lovecraft.

9:00 PM IFC
Razor: Who's Got the Gold? (1974 JAP): The final chapter of the Hanzo trilogy takes a turn for the supernatural when our anti-hero (Shintaro Katsu) takes a tumble with a ghost, whilst trying to get his hands on a missing cache of gold. This entry relies a bit more on broad humor than its predecessors, but everything you've come to love about the Hanzo series — the ultraviolence, the sexual sadism, the big stick — is still here, so fans won't be disappointed.

11:30 PM Turner Classic Movies
Blood Feast (1963 USA): Regular TiVoPlex readers know that I tend to piggyback features: if two or more films I choose to recommend are airing back to back, I'll generally include them both as part of a single entry, with the emphasis being placed on the first film airing. When the second film is Blood Feast, however, there's no way its playing second fiddle to The Dunwich Horror! The film that single-handedly brought gore into the mainstream (well, if you consider the old drive-in circuit "mainstream"), Blood Feast is a full color salute to the traditions of Ancient Egypt, as seen through the eyes of professional ad man and erstwhile filmmaker Herschell Gordon Lewis. The amazing Mal Arnold stars as Fuad Ramses, an Egyptian immigrant living in Florida and operating his own delicatessen, which specializes in something called the Egyptian Feast. Suburban housewives think it's an outré treat with which to impress their neighbors — but little do they know it's actually a cannibalistic offering to the great goddess Ishtar! If you've never seen Blood Feast before, bring your barf bag and be prepared for lots of Kayro syrup and animal innards! It's followed at 12:45 AM by Lewis' post-Civil War epic, 2,000 Maniacs (1964), in which a carload of Yankee teens get their comeuppance at the hands of some dyed in the wool Dixiecrats. Yeeeeee hah — the South's gonna rise again!




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Saturday 11/01/08

9:00 AM IFC
Close to Home (2005 ISR): And then, I was like, I AM SO SURE, that guy was totally checking out my IWI Negev Standard machine gun! What's life like for female conscripts in the Israeli Defense Forces? Find out with this low-key, apolitical drama from director (and former Israeli female conscript) Vardit Bilu. Teen soldiers Smadar and Mirit (Smadar Sayar and Naama Schendar) spend their days checking Palestinian ID cards on the streets of Jerusalem, and the rote boredom of it all soon begins to manifest itself in flagrant abuse of both rules and human rights. There are also plenty of distractions provided by boyfriend talk, cell-phone conversations, and shopping — in other words, they're just like American girls, only in uniform and heavily armed. Also airs at 2:30 PM.

6:00 PM The Movie Channel
Wilderness (2006 GB): Sean Pertwee stars as a prison officer in charge of a group of not quite as tough as they think they are Borstal Boys, in this obscure made in Scotland thriller. Pertwee plays warder Jed, who's taken six of his lads out for some tough love on a remote Scottish island — but he hasn't reckoned on the presence of a crossbow-wielding loony who's keen to give his visitors a welcome wagon surprise they'll never forget. It's all very similar to Pertwee's 2002 vehicle Dog Soldiers (in which an army patrol is stalked by a werewolf), so if you enjoyed that pic, you'll probably also enjoy Wilderness. Also airs at 9:00 PM.

10:45 PM Encore Dramatic Stories
Salt & Pepper (1968 GB): Ratpackers Sammy Davis Jr. and Peter Lawford star in this Swinging London buddy comedy as the titular Salt and Pepper. The odd part is, Davis plays Salt and Lawford plays Pepper! Geddit? Isn't that funny, or ironic, or something? At any rate, the two pals run a nightclub in Soho, where they somehow become embroiled in a plot to overthrow Her Majesty's Government. The clues point to a hijacked nuclear submarine and Dad's Army's John Le Mesurier, here playing conspirator Colonel Woodcock, who's working on behalf of some high placed Whitehall rotters presumably in thrall to either the Politburo or the Daleks. Could someone explain to me WHY this airing on Dramatic Stories? Does an unfunny comedy automatically qualify as drama?


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