The Amazing Race 13, Episode 2

Do You Like American Candy?

By Reagen Sulewski

October 9, 2008

Three minutes later she kneed him in the groin.

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More drama comes from the lineup to get on the plane, since the seats aren't assigned. Ken and Tina operate under the principle that since they somehow got the bigger plane (again, yeah right), they have choice of seat by default. The other teams are going under the thought of whoever's in line gets on first. Unless there's something on the tickets about this, I side with the latter group.

This puts Terrance and Tina in pretty direct conflict, and no possible winner for us, the viewing public. Tina's not saying the other teams owe them anything, but she can't think of a different way to finish that sentence. Honestly, you only hurt your own team's chances by helping the other teams to get there.

Ken pulls some major alpha dog BS, calling Terrance "honey" and kissing him on the cheek, while Tina talks to him like a six-year-old. Can this plane crash?

Karma arrives instantly, as the teams overrun the domestic arrival (you didn't leave the country, dumbasses), and Terrance and Sarah end up in the lead, and Ken and Tina end up waaaaay back.


Anthony and Stephanie end up last though, after Anthony decides he's going to push start the stalled cab they picked. Dude, this is not the time for macho mechanic tricks to try and impress your girlfriend. Get another cab and go!

At the beach, each team gets into a dune buggy that will take them to the next clue, which turns out to be the Detour. They have to choose between bringing a boat in from the water with a log rolling system and solving the Da Vinci Code. Sort of. They'll have to hunt through a computer database to find a shipping container, and then locate it in a shipping yard. Most teams, sensibly, choose the boat option, except for Mark and Bill, who seem like the cypherin' type. Needing a hardhat, they place it over their Tilley hats, making them look even dorkier than would have been thought possible. Wait... Yoda impression? We have a new benchmark.

Terrance and Sarah finish their task first and now are told to go by taxi to a nearby park. They almost immediately lose their lead by going on walkabout, not even bothering to look for race arrows. Nick and Starr take advantage of this, jumping ahead. Kelly and Christy could grab second but make one of the dumber mistakes I've ever seen a team make. Reading the other Detour clue, they decide there's an unmarked container they have to bring with them. Not seeing one around, they freak out and start digging in the beach. The fact that no other team is doing this seems to at no point enter their mind. I can only wonder what the boat team that gave them their clue is thinking.

They're not the only dumb ones, though, with Terrance and Sarah employing the strategy of stopping every car and seeing if it's a cab. That's how Brazil works, apparently! Terrance amazingly suggests they stop for ice cream. I may owe Tina an apology, as he might actually be six. Teams stream by them, driving them nuts as to why they won't stop – I wonder why? – but they only belatedly think to go back to the starting point of the Detour. Tina, meanwhile wonders why they didn't stop to help, while Ken sighs and thinks about which other racer or racers he wants to sleep with. He's probably not ruling out the dudes either. I mean, it would hurt her more, right?

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