Monday Morning Quarterback Part I

By BOP Staff

October 7, 2008

There's not enough beer in the world to be a Cubs fan.

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You know you want to sing it. You know you do. Sing it.

Kim Hollis: Beverly Hills Chihuahua opened to $29 million this weekend. WTF?

Jason Dean: It's the kinder, gentler, umm, what the hell is this decade, the oughts? version of the Dan Krovich's '90s formula that says animals eating people = $$$.

Now it's talking animals = $$$.

Calvin Trager: In seemingly unrelated news, I finally started work on that bomb shelter this weekend.

Tim Briody: I hate to say it, but this is the piece of trash that ended a rather long kid movie drought. Other than that, I got nothin'.

Daron Aldridge: It's a sad day. All the goodwill that the American moviegoer showed us by shunning the likes of Disaster Movie has been erased with this flaming pile left on our doorstep. It is surprising, though, that this one was able to surpass the Friday-adjusted projections by $4 million and pretty much matched Eagle Eye's opening take. So, Calvin, when is the lottery drawing for spots in your bomb shelter?

Max Braden: After the $44 million opening by Alvin and the Chipmunks, this result almost seems normal. I had advance warning from a mother who told me her kids loved the trailer. The real tragedy may be the inevitable sequel.

Reagen Sulewski: I'd comment, but I'm busy swallowing my own tongue.

Kim Hollis: Despite my earlier WTF, this was pretty much exactly what I expected from this movie. The first time I saw those dancing, singing dogs in the trailer over the summer, I knew that kids were going to eat it up - mainly from the way they were dancing themselves and screaming "Chihuahua!" after the preview ended. The big surprise for me is that it's actually almost 50% fresh at RottenTomatoes.

David Mumpower: The only good thing to come from this movie is those "two girls, one cup" variety YouTube clips of bewildered people watching the trailer for this monstrosity. As for the $29 million, that's triple what I would have expected before the tracking data came in. If someone can explain the difference between this and, say, Space Chimps to me, I'd like to hear it.

PS: One word replies of "Chihuahua!" will be discouraged by acid baths.

Sean Collier: Thanks, David, now I'm picturing Two Girls, One Cup again. Here's the thing: it's not that kids are stupid. It's that kids are amused by things that are not funny. Talking dogs? Broad physical comedy? Goofy accents and CGI dance routines? This is all hilarious to children. It all evens out, though. Kids don't laugh when they watch Best in Show.

Scott Lumley: For those wondering about the difference between Space Chimps and this monstrosity, it's this. May, June and July this year were an absolutely perfect storm of some of the best summer cinema I've seen in over a decade, and it was capped by the Dark Knight. Those months were the cinematic equivalent of foie gras, caviar and lobster. And when Space Chimps came out, it was immediately recognized as a slice of stale pizza, with olives. Viewers gorged on the buffet of great food and then moved on, ignoring the sad little slice of pizza.

Now in the fall, we've got the equivalent of a high school lunch line. We've got mystery meat, egg salad sandwiches wrapped in saran wrap and cream of broccoli soup. Suddenly, that same piece of pizza with olives looks a lot tastier in relation to everything else. That's how Space Chimps flames out in three weeks while Beverly Hills Chihuahua rocks the Box office in October.

On a related note, is anyone else suddenly hungry?


Where were these people when Arrested Development needed ratings?

Kim Hollis: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist opened to $12 million. Do you feel good, bad or indifferent about this result?

Tim Briody: I like this opening for what it is, and it's likely to find a much larger audience on DVD.

Daron Aldridge: I, too, have a fairly unenthusiastic response here. Indifferent is the perfect word. The ads for it (both television and radio) were simply not funny and didn't give the listener/viewer much reason to take the time, which is unfair because it is at least getting some decent reviews (71% positive).

Max Braden: I was really looking forward to this movie, which meant I was hoping that everyone else was too. At first I was disappointed they didn't show up but in retrospect its appeal probably skewed younger than a big romantic comedy. But wait, it made less than Nights in Rodanthe?! You all should be ashamed of not going.

Kim Hollis: I think this is right in line with where expectations should have been. Given the positive reviews it's been receiving, I think it stands a chance at a solid final box office number before it leaves theaters. I've also heard "cult classic" tossed around a little bit, so it's probably one of those movies that finds its best audience on DVD. I haven't seen it yet, but I really want to.

David Mumpower: I strongly suspect that if Michael Cera hadn't starred in Superbad and Juno, the opening weekend (and possibly even final) box office for this would have been less than a million. Against a budget of $9 million, this is an exceptional result.

Sean Collier: It's a fine result against the budget, but I have to echo my confusion from last weekend (a little bit more seriously this time:) where the hell are all the dating teenagers? Do high-school kids do something different on dates these days? You know, kids, you can make out in movie theaters. Just be quiet about it, and for god's sake, sit in the back row.

Scott Lumley: After the opening weekend, they're already well into the black. This is going to be another nice notch on the resume for Michael Cera, as well as a good result for Kat Dennings. I'm seeing this finishing up around the $40 million mark and making just about as much on DVD, if not more. Whoever set this one in motion has to be ecstatically happy right now.

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