Watch What We Say

The Mentalist/Gary Unmarried

By Jason Lee

September 26, 2008

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It doesn't help that Jane is surrounded by a bunch of seemingly-incompetent policemen that look hard-core but aren't. In the pilot episode, Jane's team rarely made anything close to an insightful, intelligent comment about the case. And if they DID say something perceptive, it was almost always upstaged by an even more perceptive comment by Jane.

I knew people like this in high school. They were typically blessed with good lucks and muscular bodies. They were skilled at most things but were also extremely talented at one or two things. They seemed obsessed with the need to remind others on a near constant basis of their extraordinary ability – slipping snide, self-congratulatory comments into everyday conversations with grandiose smiles. They were certain that their presence on earth were gifts from God and that we should revel in the opportunity to watch them show off their phenomenal talents. I hated people like this in high school.

Suffice to say that I did not enjoy my one hour with Patrick Jane. He comes off like a pompous Sherlock Holmes. A self-infatuated John Edward. A gimmicky character that invites not a single shred of empathy. Sure, he saved the day in the end but I think I'd rather be dead than have him smirk at me one more time.

Watch What We Say rating: Zero TiVos

On to some lighter fare. Debuting on Wednesday night is CBS's new sitcom, Gary Unmarried. Watching this back-to-back with The Mentalist was an interesting experience: while it's not a great show, it aims much lower than The Mentalist in terms of quality and thus comes off as less of a catastrophe. It follows Gary Brooks, a recently divorced dad who runs his own painting business.

A couple of key events serve to shake up Gary's rather tepid bachelor life. The first is that Gary begins his first post-divorce courtship with Vanessa, a rather hot woman who initially hired Gary to paint her new condo. While he likes her (a lot!), he makes the rather careless mistake of neglecting to tell her that he's divorced and has two kids until after they've had sex.

The second key issue is the announcement by his ex-wife that she's engaged to their marriage counselor (a plot point that's quite obviously stolen from the fantastic 1996 comedy, The First Wives Club). These two points cumulatively lead to a lot of comedic hijinks as multiple relationships brim with tension. Gary trades barbs with his ex-wife because they're recently divorced. Gary dislikes his marriage counselor because he's marrying his ex-wife. Vanessa mistrusts Gary because he didn't tell her about his two kids. Etc. etc.




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The show has some good acting and some strong writing but feels old and tired due to their trigger-happy use of a laugh track. Every joke is punched home with a chorus of canned guffaws, which eventually makes you feel like you don't have to laugh because someone else is doing it for you.

Sure, the child actor playing Gary's son is completely lacking in acting talent and ability and sure, the marriage counselor is dopey and stupid (he actually goes over to Gary's house and invites Gary to beat him up because he feels that a physical assault on his wife's new lover will give Gary closure) but overall, the show is pretty harmless. I would never recommend this show but at least it's not a complete waste of time, energy and attention. And in this television landscape, that's at least a small accomplishment.

Watch What We Say rating: Two TiVos

Watch What We Say: Rating System

Four TiVos: This is television content raised to the level of a transcendent art form. Not only should you TiVo this program for yourself, you should keep it on your TiVo for future generations to watch and savor.

Three TiVos: This is a very good show with a regular spot in my TiVo rotation. I watch every week and will often invite my friends over to share the enjoyable experience.

Two TiVos: I'll TiVo this show if I need something to watch while I'm folding laundry or dusting furniture.

One TiVo: I actively dislike this show and never allow it to take up space in my TiVo. Often times, I'll gripe about the show's producers, ridicule the actors and lambaste the network for keeping it on the air.

Zero TiVos: If this show is on, I unplug my TiVo for fear that the show is accidentally recorded and my entire home entertainment system gets contaminated with this malignant, diseased trash.


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