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Baby Mama

First of all, let me say that I loves me some Tina Fey. Mean Girls, which she wrote, is easily one of the best teen comedies of recent years, and her show, 30 Rock, is frequently hilarious, particularly the episodes she pens herself. So, I guess I'm a little disappointed that the reigning Goddess of Comedy is headlining this fairly generic-looking maternity farce. Fey plays a single woman looking to have a child via an artificially inseminated Amy Poehler, who is in full trailer park diva mode. These two had some really nice chemistry on the Weekend Update segments of Saturday Night Live, and there's no reason to think they won't here as well. It just feels a little bit like squandered talent. Baby Mama has a phenomenal cast, including Sigourney Weaver, Greg Kinnear, Romany Malco, and Maura Tierney. But they look to be saddled with a by-the-numbers script, written and directed by the guy who wrote Thunderbirds and those abysmal Austin Powers sequels. Fey and Poehler certainly have the ability to raise the mediocre (i.e. many, many Weekend Update jokes) to something better with the power of sheer charisma, and they look to have their work cut out for them here. The Tierney poop joke kills though, and how many poop jokes can you say that about? Right, Alvin?

Midnight Meat Train

There's a big problem with this trailer, and that problem is that this movie is called "Midnight Meat Train." For the most part, the trailer is perfectly serviceable. Mr. Horror Movie Voiceover Guy comes on (I wonder if Lionsgate has him on retainer?), so we know we're going to see some mildly disturbing imagery and jolting jump cuts. The trailer doesn't disappoint in this regard, with its blue hues and creatively-lensed butchered animals. It says it's from the "Legendary Mind of Clive Barker", wisely omitting any mention of Nightbreed and Lord of Illusions. So yeah, business as usual, and then BAM! - they hit you with that title, and you're laughing for 30 seconds into the next trailer. It would have been a great title for the long-lost bathhouse-themed Grindhouse fake trailer, but it's deadly poison as a title for a serious(-ish) horror film. Sure, you'll remember the name, but for all the wrong reasons. Blood and Chocolate had the same problem (amidst many others, admittedly), and look how quickly that came and went. Sorry, Bradley Cooper. You were adorable on Alias, if that's any consolation!

Postal

The Legendary Mind of Uwe Boll enters the realm of intentional comedy after his many forays into the "unintentional" variety. It's good to see him branching out, I guess, even if this is yet another movie based on a video game. I don't know what else to say. Obviously, this will be atrocious and unwatchable; the trailer people couldn't even dig up a single laugh from an hour and a half comedy. Not to mention that Boll is wasting the considerable talents of Dave Foley. Still, you have to hand it to the man. He's like the living embodiment of that Chumbawumba song. You're never gonna keep him down. Plus, a bespectacled Tara Reid mispronouncing "Newfoundland" in Boll's Alone in the Dark is one my all-time favorite cinematic moments, so I suppose I am in his debt.