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6pm Sundance
Adam's Apples (2005 DEN): This darkest of black comedies features Mads Mikkelsen (Casino Royale's Le Chiffre) as Ivan, a small-town Danish priest whose ministry - helping rehabilitate ex-cons and other assorted no-goodniks - threatens to run aground on the shoals of recovering neo-Nazi skinhead Adam (Festen's Ulrich Thomson). Adam is resolutely uncooperative, and to make matters worse, Ivan is woefully inept at his chosen calling, ignoring the tasks at hand in favor of time spent communing with his favorite Bee Gees tape. Co-starring Dogme regular Paprika Steen as a nymphomaniac struggling with abortion issues, Adam's Apples is a deeply cynical and wickedly funny examination of the human condition. Also airs 1/4 at 1am.

Friday 01/04/08

1:30pm Turner Classic Movies
Crime by Night (1944 USA): Perennial smoothie Jerome Cowan stars as PI Sam Campbell in this very enjoyable Warner Bros second feature. Campbell is hired by Larry Borden (Stuart Crawford), a mild-mannered type destined to be suspect number one after the murder of his father-in-law unless he can find the killer first. Aided by gal Friday Robbie Vance (Jane Wyman), Campbell ingratiates himself with the locals, proves Borden's innocence, AND uncovers a nefarious Nazi spy ring, all within a brisk 70-minute running time. If you're a fan of Cowan's oily sub-William Powell charms, too rarely seen in lead roles, don't miss this one.

9pm IFC
Eaten Alive (1976 USA): Tobe Hooper's follow-up to the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Eaten Alive is a bit of a letdown, but good fun nonetheless, especially if you appreciate Neville Brand and/or giant killer reptiles. Set in the deepest backwoods of Louisiana, the film features a gurning Brand as Judd, the crazed redneck proprietor of a rural motel and the proud owner of both a monkey in a cage AND an alligator in the backyard. After Judd flips his lid one time too often and murders local lady of the night Faye (TCM's Marilyn Burns), he takes scythe in hand and sets out to provide his beloved animal companion with some human sushi. Amongst the threatened is tenant Harvey (schlock veteran Mel Ferrer), nosey parker Hattie (Morticia Addams herself, Carolyn Jones), hapless Sheriff Martin (Stuart Whitman), and a young Robert Englund makes an unforgettable and foul-mouthed impression as Faye's unfortunate customer Buck. Eaten Alive doesn't share Texas Chainsaw Massacre's reputation, but for my money it's a heck of a lot more fun, and so far hasn't spawned any annoying sequels. Also airs 1/5 at midnight.

11pm Turner Classic Movies
Skidoo (1968 USA): I never thought I'd live to see the day Skidoo would appear again on television, and in all honesty, I'm a bit disturbed at the prospect. After all, this is the midnight movie to end all midnight movies, so obscure and deeply buried in the vaults that its extremely rare big-screen appearances are the stuff of legend (the last time I saw it was probably 15 years ago at San Francisco's Red Vic, a dilapidated but wonderful rep house with sofas for seats and a good line in concession stand chocolate). It's the infamous film in which Jackie Gleason takes an acid trip, and that's probably reason enough to watch, though the remarkable supporting cast also provides a strong argument: Carol Channing (as Jackie's wife), Groucho Marx, Frankie Avalon, Fred Clark, John Phillip Law, Peter Lawford, George Raft, Frank Gorshin, Cesar Romero, Slim Pickens, Mickey Rooney, Richard Kiel, Harry Nilsson, and (the final icing on the cake) Arnold Stang, the TiVoPlex cult fave whose career runs the gamut from The Man With the Golden Arm to Courage the Cowardly Dog and beyond! Directed by Otto Preminger, Skidoo is the ne plus ultra of old Hollywood's attempts to acknowledge and interpret the counterculture and, simply put, is a terrible movie. If you miss it tonight, however, you may regret it for the rest of your life, as there's still no indication that a home video release is in the offing. Now, can TCM next pry The Day the Clown Cried from Jerry Lewis' clammy grip??

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