The Amazing Race 12 Episode 1
Donkeys Have Souls, Too
By Reagen Sulewski
November 7, 2007
The remaining teams are booked onto the Aer Lingus flight, but catch a break as the BA flight is delayed in London, the first of what I'm sure will be many times when competent racing leads to punishment. This vaults Azaria and Hendekea into the lead, as they had the foresight to book taxis at the Shannon airport when they arrived (and what a bill the person they borrowed a cell phone to call with will get). The other taxi was for Ronald and Christina, with whom they've formed a loose alliance, but Ari and Staella nab it and speed off. This strikes me as very bad juju for Ari and Staella, as there are powerful forces at work in this race surrounding taxis.
The teams are now on their way to a ferry port, which will take them out to an island off the coast of Ireland. On the island, they have to find Teampall Bheanain, the smallest church in the world (judging by the picture, I'd have expected it to be smaller), where they have to sign up for another ferry the next morning. So far, it's the return of The Amazing Wait Your Turn, although we can't expect too much out of teams that just crossed the Atlantic.
The Great Taxi Scramble becomes more complex as the British Airways flight has just landed, putting all the teams on more or less the same footing. Out on the road, Ari and Staella have their first sign that stealing a taxi might not have been their smartest move, as they got a driver with a sense of whimsy. He realizes that they screwed over another group and refuses to put the pedal to the metal for them, although it ultimately amounts to nothing, as every single team makes the first ferry. Hooray for our first pointless drama of the year!
As the teams attempt to find the church in the middle of a fine drizzly Irish day, we get our first relationship spat. If you guessed it would be Nathan and Jennifer, you get a no-prize. Nathan starts yelling at Jennifer to run instead of walk, and then calls her the worst person ever at the race. C'mon Jen, just stick with him ten, 12 more years, you can change him! Then Nathan says the magic words of "every other girl..." which, class, is the... wrong thing for a cheater to ever say. Dear Nathan: as an adulterous bastard, you are not allowed to acknowledge the existence of other women anymore. Sorry, but them's the breaks if you're going to continue to stick this out. Jennifer may not be the best racer, but you know what she is good at? Not sleeping with other people!
The teams split into two packs getting off the ferry, one getting good directions and the other pack being sent off on a wild goose chase – oh, those wacky Irish pranksters – leading to Lorena and Jason, TK and Rachel and Kynt and Vyxsen getting more or less a free pass to take the lead on the first ferry. Jennifer bleeds off all the sympathy I had for her from Nathan's abuse by claiming that climbing the hill to the church was the hardest thing she's ever had to do. That's close to the most pathetic thing I've ever heard from a supposed adult.