TiVoPlex

TiVoPlex for Tuesday, August 7, 2007 through Monday, August 13, 2007

By John Seal

August 7, 2007

I never get a tracheotomy on the first date

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From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times Pacific.

Tuesday 08/07/07

3:00 AM HBO
The Return of Maxwell Smart (1980 USA): Arriving just in time to cash in on renewed interest in all things CONTROL thanks to the forthcoming Steve Carell Get Smart revival, The Return of Maxwell Smart — released to theaters as The Nude Bomb — returns to the small screen this morning. The plot involves a super-villain who develops a bomb that destroys clothing but leaves the people wearing it alive, presumably to die of embarrassment and/or exposure. No doubt inspired by contemporaneous rumors regarding the neutron bomb (mooted to kill people whilst leaving infrastructure intact), the plot probably seemed like a good idea at the time. Would you believe the screenwriters got paid a lot of money for that idea? Would you believe a little? Would you believe less than nothing? Even for dedicated Get Smart fans, The Nude Bomb was a tremendous disappointment: star Don Adams was much the worse for wear, whilst Agent 99 Barbara Feldon wisely chose not to participate and Chief Edward Platt had passed on years before the film went into production. Co-starring Rhonda Fleming, Sylva Kristel, and Norman Lloyd, The Return of Maxwell Smart also airs at 6:00 AM.

7:40 PM IFC
Princess and the Warrior (2000 GER): Director Tom Tykwer and actress Franka Potente had an art-house hit in 1998 with the energetic Run Lola Run, but threw the audience a curveball with this somewhat baffling follow-up. Potente plays Sissi, a nurse in an insane asylum whose life has been saved by bank robber and amateur tracheotomist Bodo (Benno Furmann) after an auto accident. Back in the land of the conscious and determined to locate her guardian angel, about whom she knows nothing, she turns for help to an asylum inmate — a blind man apparently gifted with psychic powers. Whilst Bodo and his brother Walter plot their latest heist, Sissi searches for her savior — and through an unlikely series of coinkydinks, crosses paths with him once again. There's not much middle ground for this film, which was generally loved or reviled by the critics — if you're a fan of the metaphysical stylings of a Kieslowski, you'll probably be impressed, but Ken Loach admirers should give it a miss. Also airs 8/8 at 1:25 AM.

10:15 PM HBO Signature
El Aura (2005 ARG): The final film from Argentinian director Fabian Bielinksy, whose earlier effort Nine Queens was a taut, entertaining thriller about counterfeit postage stamps, El Aura mines much of the same neo-noir territory to even greater effect. The film features Nine Queens' sad-eyed Ricardo Darin as Esteban, an epileptic taxidermist who mistakenly kills a man whilst on a hunting trip. His victim turns out to have been planning a big casino heist, and Esteban has always fantasized about masterminding 'the perfect crime' — so, convinced he's up to the task, he inherits the plot, only to find he's out of his depth. The story had gestated in Bielinsky's brain for over two decades, and is a worthy capstone to the filmmaker's all too brief career, which came to a tragic and early end thanks to a fatal heart attack at the age of 47.

Wednesday 08/08/07

6:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Assignment Paris (1952 USA): Dana Andrews stars in this obscure Columbia intriguer about Jimmy Race, an International Herald-Tribune journalist trying to get the scoop on a nefarious Commie plot to undermine western civilization. At the behest of his editor (George Sanders), and with the aid of lovely French journalist Jeanne Moray (Marta Toren), Jimmy heads off to dangerous Budapest, where his dedication to truth, justice, and the American way helps him put the kibosh on the devious machinations of the Red Menace. Assignment Paris was reportedly shot on location in both Paris and Budapest, though that really seems unlikely, don't you think? It's followed at 8:00 AM by The Fearmakers (1958), another Andrews entry — albeit a late one—in the Red Scare cycle. By the late 1960s this film would have looked like a bizarre and ancient relic, but here in the 21st century, it looks almost prophetic — if you can overlook the fact that it makes an argument in favor of nuclear war. What gives The Fearmakers resonance for a contemporary audience is its accurate portrayal of 'public relations', polling and advertising, and their ability to sway public opinion. In the 1950s this thesis no doubt took a back seat to the usual Commie-bashing, but now—in the era of push polls, straw polls, and exit polls—it looks frighteningly accurate. Andrews is excellent as usual, but unfortunately got paired with Marilee Earle, a truly dreadful thespian, as his love interest. This was the last film of her brief career, and rightly so, but the film is still worth watching.

4:30 PM Sundance
Gilaneh(2005 IRA): Our mortal enemies in Iran insist on producing some of the gentlest films on Earth, but every now and then they manage to come up with something a bit more pointed: in this case, an anti-war diatribe of sorts from directors Rakhshan Bani-Etemad and Mohsen Abdolvahab. Fatemah Motamed-Aria (featured in Mohsen Makhmalbhaf's truly amazing Once Upon A Time, Cinema) stars as the titular character, a middle-aged woman whose son Ismaeel has been sent to the front lines during the incredibly bloody Iran-Iraq War in 1988 (you know, the war in which we SUPPORTED Saddam Hussein). As bombs drop around her in Tehran, Gilaneh searches the city for her daughter's husband, who has deserted the army and has disappeared into the vastnesses of the capital. Fast forward to 2003, and our heroine is now caring for Ismaeel, who returned from the 1988 war a shattered shadow of his former self. Once again, the bombs are starting to fall...but this time on Baghdad. A plea for universal peace and an end to all wars, no matter of what origin, Gilaneh is a deeply moving and heartfelt effort from one of Iran's leading women directors (Bani-Etemad).

11:15 PM Turner Classic Movies
The Satan Bug (1965 USA): With a title like The Satan Bug, you might expect a 1960s take on the Outbreak oeuvre, with germ warfare claiming thousands of writhing victims as an army of hazmat-suited heroes try to halt the invisible enemy in its tracks. Alas, you'd only be partly right, as the film is little more than a garden variety suspenser about the efforts of hero Lee Barrett (George Maharis) to track down the stolen virus before it can be unleashed on an unsuspecting world. Though some folks bite the dust in Miami, there's no mass extinction, and much of the film is taken up by pretty run of the mill sleuthing. Nonetheless, it's worth a look as it makes a very rare widescreen television appearance this evening (it's still not available on region 1 DVD), and features an interesting ‘futuristic' electronic score from composer Jerry Goldsmith.




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Thursday 08/09/07

1:20 AM More Max
Gray Lady Down (1978 USA): Charlton Heston plays the he-man captain of a US Navy submarine stranded on the lip of an underwater trench in the Atlantic Ocean in this testosterone drenched adventure tale from director David Greene. To make mattes worse, his life, and the lives of his men, rest in the hands of coke-sniffing Stacy Keach, who's been assigned to rescue the sub before it implodes, tips over the edge, or runs out of oxygen. Can Keach get the job done — or will rescue arrive in the shape of David Carradine and Ned Beatty, whose experimental mini-sub Snark seems well suited for the job? A box office dud, Gray Lady Down will appeal to fans of Heston, whose career was still at its peak in 1978, and admirers of manly nautical hardware.

Friday 08/10/07

3:15 AM Encore Mystery
Nightmare Alley (1947 USA): Here's my nightmare: I videotape Nightmare Alley, and then lose the recording. Actually, that's no nightmare at all, but what actually happened to me the last time this grim classic popped up on the boob tube. At the time I was still recording everything to VHS, and before I had a chance to watch it, this particular tape was removed from the player and never seen again. Spooky, eh? As for the film, it's one of the darkest of all noirs, and features Tyrone Power as Stanton Carlisle, a carny with his eye on fake spiritualist Zeena (Joan Blondell), whose partner in entertainment, crime, and life is a drunken sot named Pete (Ian Keith). The ambitious Stan sleeps with Zeena, steals her scam, and moves on to the big city with a new partner (Colleen Grey) and a fresh act—but payback is surely just around the corner for the conniving Carlisle, who mistakenly thinks his days of carnival geekery are behind him. Co-starring Mike Mazurki and Helen Walker, Nightmare Alley is a brilliant exposition on light and dark, good and evil from director Edmund Goulding, and was beautifully lensed in black and white by cinematographer Lee Garmes.

6:15 AM Turner Classic Movies
Tower of London (1939 USA): A day of Vincent Price features on TCM includes both versions of Tower of London, the ostensibly historical tale of Richard Crookback, AKA Richard III. Up first, the 1939 version is aimed squarely at the costume epic crowd, but does feature a memorable and demented performance by Boris Karloff as Mord, the (entirely fictional) hooded executioner who swings a mean ax on behalf of the twisted Richard in his drive to ascend to the throne. In this version, Richard's played by Basil Rathbone, whilst the young and handsome Price was cast to type as one of the good guys, the Duke of Clarence, whose encounter with a butt of Malmsey removed him from the line of succession. This exercise in cod-Shakespeare will entertain if not enlighten. It's followed at 8:00 AM by The Mad Magician, a 1954 3-D chiller about a prestidigitator (Price) with a taste for revenge against the man who stole his trade secrets, and at 2:00 PM by the aforementioned Roger Corman take on Tower of London (1962), in which the now mature Price replaced Rathbone as the man who would give his kingdom for a horse on Bosworth Field.

Sunday 08/12/07

3:15 AM Encore
Are You In the House Alone? (1978 USA): The granddaddy of a thousand teen stalker films, Are You In the House Alone? features 22-year old Kathleen Beller (the future Mrs. Thomas Dolby) as teenaged Gail, a babysitter being harassed by a mysterious caller on the phone who does not seem to have her best interests at heart. It's awfully talky — hey, it WAS made for television — and not very disturbing (though there are some creepy implications about an off-screen rape), but it did help establish the template for a whole series of much more gruesome and revealing theatrical thrillers, so we have that to thank it for. Or condemn it, depending on your point of view. Also airs at 6:15 AM.

Monday 08/13/07

7:35 PM IFC
The Filth and the Fury (2000 GB): Julian Temple's Sex Pistols documentary returns to IFC tonight. It's required viewing for anyone even remotely in the thrall of that brilliant band, who, for one brief shining moment, managed to piss off everyone except the teenage audience they were singing to. The Filth and the Fury was the culmination of filmmaker Temple's long term fascination for the band, which extended all the way back to the semi-autobiographical Situationist put-on The Great Rock and Roll Swindle in 1978. And could someone please confirm for me that the current DVD edition of Swindle no longer includes the hilarious scenes featuring Sting? Guess I'd better hold on to that battered old videotape a little longer...

9:45 PM HBO Signature
Maria Full of Grace (2004 COL): Or Maria Full of Dope, if you prefer. The assured feature debut of young American director Joshua Marston, Maria Full of Grace is the compelling story of a drug mule transporting goods to the United States, and deservedly netted Catalina Sandino Moreno an unexpected Academy Award nomination for Best Actress in 2005. She's transcendent as a Colombian teenager whose desperate economic plight leads to her swallowing bags on coke on behalf of the local drug lords before departing on a jet plane for points north. I guess it's better than filling up on airline food.


     


 
 

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