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Welcome to legs 7 and 8 of The Amazing Race: All-Stars, the episodes that have me THIS close to never watching TAR again. So great is my annoyance right now that if I hadn't made a commitment to doing these write-ups, I'd probably tune out until the finale. But I did, so I won't; however, I'm not going to like it. To keep myself amused, I'm going to mix it up and look at this write up alphabetically, from A to Z.

A is for Auschwitz-Birkenau, where the producers decided to send the racers. There is nothing that annoys me more than when this show sends a bunch of fame and money-seeking Americans with camera crews in tow to solemn sites that should not be exploited. I appreciate the geography and history lessons that TAR usually gives us - Marie Curie was Polish? I thought she was French - but a visit to a concentration camp where so many died is too crass. What really bothers me is, when faced with such horrors, the racers either become (a) completely affected and must quickly pull themselves together to continue racing or (b) do not get as affected as they probably should, probably due to the fact that they are in the middle of a race for $1 millions dollars. Either way, it doesn't work for me. Plus the Schindler's List-like music they used was really predictable. There's no good way to segue from visiting Auschwitz and the producers didn't do a particularly good job here.

B is for bunching, which was fairly overreaching in these episodes. The time that Kandice and Dustin had to wait, first for the charter bus to Auschwitz and then at the Intersection (see "I" below), were significant. The only way I am going to forgive the producers for the bus bunching is if they had to hold the trip to the concentration camp until it was closed. (And, I really hope Auschwitz was closed, because if I were a visitor there, trying to pay respects, attempting to understand the evil, honoring the few survivors, I'd be pissed to see the spectacle of the racers lighting candles in front of cameras for a game show.

C is for cab drivers; specifically the cab driver who gave Mirna and Charla the silent treatment after they asked him such probing questions as whether he liked Polish sausage.

D is for delays, plane. Between last episode and this one, I think it is safe to say that air travel to and from any African country is something that should be planned in advance, with travel agents from your home country. If you need to change plans, make sure you give yourself lots and lots of time between flights.

E is for Eric and Danielle, who finished in the last leg in sixth place. And boy, they did not look pretty doing so. Between Danielle's failure to realize that Warsaw was in Poland, her breakdown due to a misconnection at an airport and their constant bickering, they are looking like they relationship will not survive the race.

F is for the Fast Forward. Like last season, the Fast Forward was packaged with the Intersection, so that when Danny and Oswald and Uchenna and Joyce got together, they took the opportunity. However, instead of a mentally tough task like Joyce's haircut in her season or a physically challenging task, like last season's meat eating task, all these guys needed to do was walk up stairs and count. This propelled the teams to a huge lead and both teams hit the mat at the same time for first place.

G is for the Guidos, who ended up being eliminated - not that they had a chance. They left the pit stop in the first leg more than 14 hours behind Mirna and Charla, and more than three hours behind Eric and Danielle. Once they got behind Eric and Danielle on the first leg and came in last on the non-elimination, the fix was in. (And I don't mean that the producers had it in for the Guidos, but there was no way any team could catch up from last place with the way the leg was designed). Once the producers separated three teams on the first charter and three teams on the second charter, then placed the Intersection after the trip to Auschwitz, four teams had to be closely bunched by design. And the leg did not allow for any separation thereafter to allow the Guidos to make up 30 minutes. And so it is that I say so long, Bill and Joe. I have fond memories of the evil you brought to Season 1 and the genuine feelings of love you have for each other both then and now.

H is for the hostility that Mirna is harboring against Charla and Eric and Danielle seem to be harboring for each other. Mirna's tirade - that she does everything, that Charla can't even hold the clue - was obnoxious. Charla's resigned sarcastic acceptance of the rant - "you're right, Mirna" - was really the only way to respond. Well, short of taking the sharpest object she can find and driving it through the back of her neck. Eric and Danielle do not seem to even be able to tolerate each other. At one point, Danielle wanted to get a cup of coffee and Eric refused to allow her to spend $2 for such a luxury.

I is for the Intersection. In theory, I like this idea. However, in practice, it really can hurt a team, like it did with the Beauty Queens. The three lead teams hit the Intersection within minutes of each other. Because Kandice and Dustin got there third, they had to wait four hours until another team showed up. This seems to be a significant penalty for those few minutes.

J is for Joe, who thought he could stop an airplane by ringing a bell from outside the terminal.

K is for knights in shining armor. About the only joy I got from these episodes was watching Charla, outfitted in a tiny suit of armor, fall over three times. I know, I'm not nice, but it was hilarious. The only thing that would have made it funnier was if someone, anyone, said "Ni."

L is for the loss of leads. Like Mirna and Charla last week, Dustin and Kandice went out to a huge lead by getting on the earliest flight out of Zanzibar. They were not rewarded for their efforts, however. They started the second of these legs over 16 hours ahead of Bill and Joe, yet due to the bunching at the buses, lost a good part of that lead. By the Intersection, they lost it almost altogether. I know that having teams so far ahead doesn't make a good race, but neither does seeing a team lose a well-earned advantage.

M is for Mirna and Charla, who ended up in fourth place. After two wins, and two legs in which Mirna was almost bearable, the bitchy, obnoxious Mirna was back with a vengeance. Whether it was talking down to travel agents, screaming out cabbies or harassing Charla,, she was in her most annoying form.

N is for non-elimination leg, which saved Team Guido from being eliminated in Warsaw, only to be eliminated in Krakow.

O is for Oswald and Danny, who I love more and more as the race progresses. They are fun, empathetic and just flat out nice. When they tied for first with Uchenna and Joyce and both immediately said the married couple could take the prize for first, that sealed the deal for me. Go Team Cha Cha Cha!!

P is for puking polish sausage, which both Charla and Dustin did. The teams that didn't take the Fast Forward had to choose between a food detour - "Eat it Up" or "Roll it Out." The eating task required the teams merged at the Intersection to make one sausage link and then eat eight feet of sausage (two feet each). The rolling task required the teams to roll out 20 bagels, then they had to deliver them. Dustin and Kandice chose the eating task for the merged Beauty Queen/Schmirna team. Why is the big question. Mirna is a stick, Charla is tiny and two feet of sausage is a lot. The puking did lead to the best line of the night, though - after Dustin upchucks, Eric, without missing a beat, announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss California."

Q is for Queens, Beauty. After my disdain for them last season, I have a new-found appreciation for these two. They are encouraging (see the sausage task, where Kandice held back Charla's hair when she threw up), unfazed by bad turns (see the Intersection situation where the four hour wait engendered no more than a "Dang It" from them) and good racers.

R is for retching. Yeah, I know, been there, done that. But there was so much of it, it needed to be noted twice.

S is for the sausage innuendos. The editors were having too much fun. "Hopefully we can hang onto this lead and put the sausage away." "Push, push, push it down." "After the naked mannequin and not the sausage." Just hearing these things, very seriously, coming from Charla , Mirna and the Beauty Queens was pretty fun.

T is for tuning a piano. In Warsaw, the teams chose between a detour task, tuning a piano (in honor of Chopin, one of Poland's great citizens) or taking an x-ray (in honor of Marie Curie, another Polish citizen). Dustin, a pianist, was really into it and tuned the piano fairly quickly. The other teams who chose that task; well, it took a while longer.

U is for Uchenna and Joyce, who tied for first with Danny and Oswald. These guys are running a fairly consistent race so far, and seemed to be having a positive experience.

V is for the vitriol that I feel right now for the Race.

W is for Warsaw and its people, who saw Mirna for who she was and refused to help her. It's like they have perfect asshole radar.

X is for x-rays. In Warsaw, if the teams didn't tune a piano, they needed to x-ray a mannequin which had the next destination embedded in its body. Oddly, the teams were required to get the mannequin from the Escada store and carry it naked to the lab where they were to x-ray it. Escada seems like off product placement for TAR. The roaming gnome, Sprint and really expensive designer clothes - which one of these just doesn't belong?

Y is for the Yield, which I am longing for right about now. Can you imagine the reaction if Mirna and Charla are yielded? Granted, it may not be as irate as Karlyn and Lyn last season, but in Mirnaland, any slight against them is a slight against humanity. It'll be GREAT!

Z is for the Zanzibar travel agent that made Mirna and Charla crazy as they waited seven hours for tickets to Warsaw. The more Mirna called her "my sister" and leaned over into her space, the longer it seemed to take. I wonder if that was a coincidence. I hope not, because she was AWESOME!