Survivor: Philippines - Episode 1 (Part 1)

Survivor Smacked Me In The Chops

By Ben Willoughby

September 20, 2012

Lodestones tied together.

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Over on Kalabal, the red tribe, we check in on Jeff Kent’s knee. He doesn’t want anyone to know it’s hurt, but it’s really not good. We also check on Jonathan, who having played with four tribes, and then two tribes, is now playing with three tribes. He seems thrilled and genuinely moved to have this opportunity again. Meanwhile, Jeff Kent is saying to the other four Kalabals that the winner should be anyone but Jonathan. Why? Because of the strong emotional connection they all formed sitting on that boat? The other Kalabals should be wondering why Jeff Kent wants Jonathan off so bad. But they all agree, and in interview, Dana is on board. Back at the discussion, Katie doesn’t look so on-board.

And at Tandang, the yellow tribe, we first see Michael. He is talking about how people advised him not to come back because “now I am opening himself up to the legend of what I was, versus what I am today." Legend? You killed a bushpig, not the Erymanthian Boar. But he makes a good point, because remember Colby – in the same season as Michael - was the challenge monster, but ten years later in Heroes and Villains he wasn’t a physical threat. We also see RC and Abi go off to talk. RC, who describes herself as an all-or-nothing girl, is claiming to be an executive assistant, and not an investment banker. Because apparently not everyone likes bankers even though Wall Street is really tough. And to be a great investment banker you have to be tough, like you have to hail cabs in the rain while wearing six-inch heels. Whoa, I thought being an investment banker was all about being slave-driven by your slimy boss on the back of vague assurances that you’ll make partner one day if you shut up and do what he says. But now I find out it’s about hailing cabs? In the rain? When I interview with Goldman Sachs and they ask me about how I have dealt with life challenges, that's the example I'm going to use.

Abi and RC agree almost immediately to form an alliance – RC even says “We can win together!”, which I really hope Abi doesn’t believe. They are also smart enough to realise they need four people in their alliance, and they decide to approach Michael because of his experience, and Pete because he’s strong and he looks kind of dumb. Abi starts flirting with Pete by wearing her buff as a skirt and then adjusting it while looking at him and pointing out that her “big Brazilian booty” is preventing it from staying on. RC approaches Michael, sucking up big time by declaring how big a fan she is of the game and how fantastic that he is here and that “we can’t lose with you on our team, and we can’t lose with you in an alliance”. Michael agrees readily, revealing in interview that a part of his strategy is to go with the game – if the team is going slow, go slow. This is good general advice for Survivor, and I’d like to see if Michael can maintain it. The three young people are moving fast, so he’s going to move fast with them. Thus, the alliance is born! “We need to pick a name for our alliance”, says RC later. I can't wait to hear what they come up with.




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Back at Kalabal, the castaways are all feeling each other out. Jeff Kent, who doesn’t want to reveal he’s made a fortune by hitting a ball with a bat and wearing over-sized novelty gloves, is quite comfortable revealing that he owns an enormous ranch, even though he claims to make his money selling motorcycles. He gets to work splitting bamboo and coconuts, while Jonathan gives an impressed thumbs-up to the camera. Dana doesn’t know who Jeff Kemp is, but there isn’t anyone else like her on the tribe, who is “tatted out people with punked out spiky hair” or who “would fight any boy in the trailer park that would challenge me”, so she plans to bond with him using their shared Southern roots. Jeff Kent talks again about he doesn’t want to be recognized, that he wants to play the game and loves to compete, and maybe if he is outed as Jeff Kent, multi-millionaire baseball player, he won’t be able to do that. Dawson – who you’ll recall “loves to trouble” – does recognize Jeff Kent, and while she’s not going to tell anyone, she does plan to tell Jeff Kent “as soon as it becomes valuable to me." Like when she needs to pull off the best Survivor prank ever.

Tandang again, and Lisa says that her strategy is to connect with each castaway individually, but she’s off to a bad start when she won’t even take off her pants to go paddling in the ocean with the other women. She says in interview that she doesn’t feel that she can play a cut-throat game and she has to play to her strengths, and that she lost all her Facts of Life money in the ’87 stock market crash. Being on Survivor is a godsend to her, because it gives her the opportunity to see “if I am more than a mom, and more than a child star." But she makes the mistake of staying behind while the others go off to talk about her. This is a challenge with only six castaways per tribe – there’s probably only one outsider, and if you’re marked as the outsider from Day One, good luck working your way back in.

RC is already undermining Lisa to Michael. According to her and her leopard-print bikini, Lisa’s going off on her own means she can’t be trusted. This isn’t true. If she was going off on her own with one other castaway, she can’t be trusted. If she was doing it several times with every castaway, she really can't be trusted. But if she’s on her own, who is she talking to? What relationships is she forming? It does make her an easy scapegoat, as RC points out, but it doesn’t make her untrustworthy. RC is doing all of the talking in an alliance pitch to Michael about why Lisa can’t be trusted. Can’t she wait until they lose a challenge and get rid of the oldest woman because “the tribe needs to be strong blah blah blah”? RC is moving way too fast in pushing her alliance towards the outcome she wants, and the rest of her alliance is letting her do all the talking. Michael is not totally on board because of his connection with Lisa thanks to a misspent youth watching NBC on Wednesday nights.

Come back tomorrow for Part 2 of the opening episode recap.


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