TiVoPlex
By John Seal
December 13, 2010
11:00 PM Turner Classic Movies
Black Christmas (1975 CAN): TCM continues its outre salute to the holiday season with this cult classic, remade to surprisingly not too terrible effect in 2006. Helmed by Canadian director Bob Clark (A Christmas Story, Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things), the film kick-started the slasher genre (yeah, I know, thanks a lot), and stars Olivia Hussey and Margot Kidder as sorority sisters being stalked by a mysterious killer determined to ruin the most wonderful time of the year. The film is genuinely creepy, very well acted, and will have you jumping out of your snuggie. It’s followed at 12:30 AM by 1964’s legendary Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, in which Pia Zadora plays an intergalactic tot who breaks bread with Kris Kringle.
Saturday 12/18/10
5:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
Zebra in the Kitchen (1965 USA): Television’s Dennis the Menace, Jay North, headlines this fairly wretched kiddie movie, which will, nonetheless, bring back happy memories for those of a certain age. Jay plays youngster Chris Carlyle, a precocious lad who decides in best PETA fashion to let all the animals loose from the local zoo. When the titular equid and his animal chums begin to take over the town, however, mom and dad are unimpressed by their son’s radical activism, and hilarious complications — well, hilarious to those under ten — ensue. Helmed by animal movie specialist Ivan Tors, this is rumored to be St. Louis Cardinals’ manager Tony La Russa’s favorite film.
7:30 AM Turner Classic Movies
High Society (1955 USA): If you tune in this morning in anticipation of seeing Grace Kelly and Bing Crosby moon and croon, you’re going to be disappointed. That High Society came out a year after this one, which is Bowery Boys series entry number 37. The formula was really stale by now (no, really, I mean it this time!), with Allied Artists recycling the "Sach inherits a fortune" plot seen only three years prior in Loose in London. Hilariously, screenwriters Ed Bernds and Elwood Ulmann found their story nominated for an Academy Award by AMPAS voters...who got this film confused with the other one I just mentioned! The nomination was later revoked, spoiling what promised to be a potentially memorable Oscar moment.
10:00 PM IFC
Lord of War (2005 USA): With both Nic Cage and Viktor Bout back in the news — the former for his viral YouTube montage of screen rants, the latter for being extradited to the United States on charges of selling arms to bad people — now seems like the perfect time for Lord of War to make its widescreen television debut. Cage plays the fictionalized Yuri Orlov, a Ukrainian ne’er-do-well who will sell arms to anyone with a pulse and a checkbook. Y’know, kinda like the American government. Business is, naturally, good, and Yuri is living high on the hog in Manhattan — but when Interpol takes an interest in his activities and dispatches agent Valentine (Ethan Hawke) to put him out of business, things get difficult. Written and directed by Andrew Niccol (The Truman Show, Gattaca), Lord of War provides Cage another opportunity to devour the screen, and he doesn’t disappoint.
Sunday 12/19/10
5:00 PM HBO
Good Hair (2008 USA): Chris Rock’s amiable but pointed documentary about black women’s hair — and the hair care products that help make it possible — makes its television debut this evening. Good Hair manages the difficult act of avoiding both poker-faced political correctness and unwitting endorsement of the use of straighteners and "relaxers" that, inadvertently or otherwise, help African-American women adjust their hair to match "cultural norms." Wryly amusing and intelligently presented, Good Hair also airs at 8:00 PM.
Monday 12/20/10
4:30 PM More Max
Stephen King’s Thinner (1996 USA): Is he? I hadn’t noticed. Perhaps he’s lost fat but added muscle. As for the movie, it stars Robert John Burke as a lawyer with a gypsy curse on his head: to wit, that he will waste away to nothing, regardless of whether he carbo-loads or not. It’s an entertaining, slightly better than average King adaptation, enlivened by the presence of Joe Mantegna and Kari Wuhrer.
7:05 PM Flix
Lifeguard (1976 USA): Sam Elliott, only 32 but already brandishing an impressive mustache, stars in this excellent character study directed by Daniel Petrie. Elliott plays Rick, a typical Southern California surfer dude stuck in perpetual childhood. Rick is in his early 30s but still works as a lifeguard on Southland beaches. When he meets an old chum (now a high-flying car salesman) and an old flame (now a divorced single mom) Rick realizes it’s time to make a decision about the direction his life will take. Should he trade in his speedo for a three-piece suit and flog Porsches, or should he keep doing what makes him happiest? Co-starring Anne Archer as love interest Cathy, Lifeguard airs tonight in widescreen.
Continued:
1
2
3
Print this column
