Take Five
By George Rose
July 28, 2009
As the Griswolds head to England, they all enjoy various dream sequences of what their trip might be like. Four attempts at humor and they all fall short. One sequence, featuring Princess Diana, barely made me crack a smile, and that was mostly out of nostalgia for the now deceased royalty. It was the highlight of the hour and a half film, and while it was the best part, I couldn't help but wonder why so much of the movie was wasted on dream sequences instead of what could be a wild adventure though a foreign land. It was then that I knew to predict the absence of a plot.
"Jokes" include driving on the wrong side of the road, an expensive phone bill, the difficulty of driving around a rotary, knocking down Stonehenge, doing a German jig, a car chase, Audrey's eating habits, the "sexual chemistry" between Clark and Ellen, a sex video scandal, more silly driving incidences, and so on. What is the fascination with driving in Europe? Was this really all the screenwriters could come up with? After the film removes the rental cars from the plot, they insert many blatant stereotypes of the foreign countries they visit to compensate, which would have offended me if I weren't American or if they included Greece on the itinerary. England is full of morons who forgive and forget car accidents with great big smiles, France is full of pretentious jerks who mock and abuse Americans, Germany is overly aggressive and nearly disregarded (when they arrive, subtitles note that they are "somewhere in Germany," as opposed to actual locations like London, England; Paris, France; and Rome, Italy), and Italians are suave con artists.
With only 20 minutes left, a subplot featuring a bank robbery, a kidnapping, a ransom and another kidnapping are crammed in for good measure. The writers must have realized they forgot to tell a story and assumed we'd forgive them if they added one in at the last second. Since it was so rushed and lacked depth, it only made me dislike the film more. If it weren't for Chevy Chase (who I like because of Saturday Night Live) and Beverly D'Angelo (who is wonderful as Ellen and I like on her stint on Entourage), I wouldn't have been able to tolerate the movie. It's a good thing I didn't watch European Vacation before the others in the series, or I might have missed out on what little the others have to offer. As it stands, this is the worst of the bunch and should be avoided at all costs, even if it you win the DVD on a silly game show.
Overall Rating: D-
*And that wraps another Take Five from Greece. Thanks again for joining my adventures and I hope you return to check out the next article in two weeks, on August 10, 2009.
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