Worst Performance

Paul Walker (2 Fast 2 Furious)

He's a real thinker, that Paul Walker.

2003 was a banner year for awful, awful films, which means that it also provided a bumper crop of terrible, terrible performances. While no candidate in our top ten stood out much more than any other, we were still able to single out ten very dreadful actors and actresses who we felt were particularly deserving of our scorn.

Taking the grand booby prize is the wooden but pretty Paul Walker, whose lack of enthusiasm and inability to convincingly deliver a line like "Thanks, bro" place him as the worst of the worst by a mere vote. Though one might think that the cars are really all that would matter in a film like 2 Fast 2 Furious, the honest evaluation is that Walker's dull, uninspired performance makes the film unwatchable.

The backlash against Ben Affleck seeped into our voting in this category as well, as J-Lo's former flame wasn't selling anybody on his ability to play a blind superhero in Daredevil. It may be taking poor Ben a good little while to gain audience forgiveness for his trifecta of films in 2003 -- along with Daredevil, he turned the critics off with the bomb Gigli and underwhelmed sci-fi/mystery fans with Paycheck.

Technically, Mike Myers received the most number of votes in this category; sadly, they were for two separate films so he could not be officially declared our "winner." The Cat in the Hat is a vile, offensive piece of cinema that goes a long way toward proving that Myers is in fact Satan. In a film that is ostensibly for children, he's revolting in a disgusting and pandering display that plays heavily to the lowest common denominator. Similarly, in View from the Top, Myers happily pokes fun at people who are different with his portrayal of a flight attendant school teacher. You can't help but roll your eyes whenever he appears onscreen.

Rounding out our worst five is an actress who appeared in our top ten for Supporting Actress in 2003. While we loved her in Chicago, Queen Latifah owes us an apology for accepting such a debasing role in the distasteful Bringing Down the House. A film that takes hatred and bigotry to new levels, her willing participation is nothing short of a huge disappointment.

He might have captured the hearts of California voters in 2003, but Arnold Schwarzenegger's rehashing of his T-800 cyborg from the Terminator series made our voters yawn. Phrases like "Talk to the hand" just didn't carry the same goofy chic as "I'll be back" or "Hasta la vista, baby" the third time around.

Keanu Reeves gets "recognized" for the final movie in the Matrix trilogy. Since Revolutions was so highly disappointing for fans and non-fans alike, his low-key, sometimes lethargic acting drove viewers to distraction.

The Medallion was a mess of a movie, and the presence of the constantly annoying Lee Evans as Jackie Chan's partner didn't help matters at all. Nick Nolte might have received some of our positive attention for his work in The Good Thief, but it was totally counterbalanced by his attempted scenery chewing in the equally oppressive The Hulk. Our final object of derision is Dreamcatcher's Damian Lewis, whose natural British accent was less convincing than his put-on American one. Even so, "You're not Jonesy" is a dorky line for the ages. (Kim Hollis/BOP)


Top Ten
Position
Actor
Film
Total Points
1
Paul Walker
2 Fast 2 Furious
43
2
Ben Affleck
Daredevil
42
3
Mike Myers
The Cat in the Hat
39
4
Mike Myers
View from the Top
38
5
Queen Latifah
Bringing Down the House
26
6 (tie)
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
24
6 (tie)
Keanu Reeves
The Matrix Revolutions
24
8 (tie)
Lee Evans
The Medallion
22
8 (tie)
Nick Nolte
The Hulk
22
10
Damian Lewis
Dreamcatcher
19


  • Best Picture
  • Best Director
  • Best Actor
  • Best Actress
  • Best Supporting Actor
  • Best Supporting Actress
  • Best Cast
  • Best Screenplay
  • Best Overlooked Film
  • Best Scene
  • Best Use of Music
  • Worst Picture
  • Worst Performance
  • Best Trailer
  • Best Breakthrough Performance
  • Best DVD
  • Best Special Effects



  • Return to the 2004 Calvin Awards