"That's a nice-a donut."
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid was billed as a followup to Anaconda, starring Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube. But this is a sequel only in the sense that the atrocious Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a sequel in the continuing adventures of ravenous lunatic Michael Myers, because the plot bears very little resemblance.
The Hunt for the Blood Orchid is a rather lame story about a handful researchers sent by a pharmaceutical company to acquire samples of the rare blood orchid, because the plant has shown promise in extending cellular life (i.e., a possible "fountain of youth"). But it gets even better... It's only in bloom for one more week! And it's only found in Borneo! And it's rainy season there! And some members of the group don't like each other! And the guide they hire has a really old junk of a boat! And the anacondas - don't forget the anacondas!
The thriller/horror scenes in the movie are downright laughable. So much so that I'm surprised this actually ended up in movie theaters rather than as a Sci-Fi Channel original feature. The anacondas are absurdly large and - surprise - it's mating season, hence an excuse for them to have more than one or two of the snakes (as they are very territorial in nature). The acting is rather bad and the character development is forced and unimportant. I don't recall a single one of the actors' names (or any of their character's names even), and I'm not sure it really even matters. The order at which the doomed crew are stalked by the predators is fairly predictable; I imagine one way to make the movie enjoyable would be to create a drinking game out of it, where people try to predict which person gets attacked next.
The few bright spots in Anacondas are when the group is on the boat. Yes, the story is poorly written and the actors are C-level, but there is a lot of promise in these jungle scenes. In fact the movie would have been better if they had scrapped much of the script and focused on their journey up the river. In case you were wondering, Borneo is also the general location for the original season of the hit reality series Survivor. It is a beautiful place and this helps to create a calming effect, which would make a well-filmed thriller even more terrifying. Just keep looking if you want a good scare.
The Verdict: D+.
Michael Bentley 2:24 PM
Archives
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
|
|
|
|
