"That's a nice-a donut."
Thursday, June 23, 2005
The XYZ Murders (aka Crimewave)
I think I can honestly say that I have never been more disappointed in a movie than I was with Crimewave. You are almost certainly in the majority if you were to say that you've never even heard of the movie. Well, neither had I until recently. That is, until I discovered that this unknown movie was created by the great Coen Brothers (Joel and Ethan, as co-writers) and Sam Raimi (of Evil Dead and Spider-man fame, as the director and also a co-writer) and co-starred funnyman and multitalent Bruce Campbell. The movie is billed a slapstick satire on the crime and hitman genre. The tagline is "Extermination is not just a business. It's a way of life."
The film begins with a guy in prison (no-name actor Reed Birney) who is about to be put to death via the electric chair. He claims he is innocent but that doesn't really matter; most of the movie is a flashback explaining why he's there. Although by the end, we still don't actually learn why he is there. Instead we follow this loser who has a "How to Talk to Girls" book with him and a couple very freaky and creepy hitmen exterminators. Ostensibly the basic plot of the movie is that an owner of a security system company hires these exterminators to kill his partner. They do that, but also go after the guy who hired them, the loser, a couple women, and a few other people who get in the way.
This is definitely slapstick - nothing is serious, everything is outrageous, and pretty much everything is pointless too. I suppose they are supposed to be cartoonish, but the hitmen are so weird and freaky that it starts to grate on the nerves. The movie is not funny and the only suspense was whether or not it could actually get any worse (it does). There are few redeeming qualities about Crimewave (or The XYZ Murders or Broken Hearts and Noses ...whatever the heck it is called). One of the only bright spots is when Bruce Campbell is on the screen in a small supporting role as a heel. Frances McDormand (the great actress and husband of Joel) is also credited but is barely noticeably in a non-speaking part. The movie does not appear to have aged well, and yet it actually seems like it was already aged upon its release. Nevertheless, it is so odd that I am surprised that it has not become more of a cult classic. I recommend this only as a curiosity for fans of the filmmakers.
The Verdict: D.
Michael Bentley 1:47 PM
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