TiVoPlex

By John Seal

December 2-8, 2003

Ah yes, I know that look of post-coital remorse all too well.

From the obscure to the obscurest to the merely overlooked or underappreciated; they all have a home in the TiVoPlex! All times PDT.

Tuesday 12/02/03

1:05am Showtime Extreme
Black Mama White Mama (1973 USA-PHI): From Eddie Romero’s Manila Dream Factory comes this provocatively=titled women-in-jungle-prison flick. Ladies behind bars were all the rage in the early ‘70s after director Jack Hill hit pay-dirt with 1972’s The Big Bird Cage, and there were countless knockoffs, some sleazier than others. This one is relatively low-key for the genre, but don’t think that means it’s boring; far from it. It’s basically a female version of Stanley Kramer’s The Defiant Ones (1958 USA), with Pam Grier chained to now-forgotten Yugoslav actress Margaret Markov. The pair, who naturally can’t stand each other, break out of prison and must learn to cooperate as they evade the loathsome claws of baddies Sid Haig and Vic Diaz, both of whom spent the better part of a decade in films like this one. Based on a story by future A-list director Jonathan Demme, this is a trashy delight for fans of Ms. Grier.

2:40am Cinemax
After Hours (1985 USA): Martin Scorsese’s least-seen and least-appreciated film (perhaps excluding 1967’s terrific Who’s That Knocking at My Door?) is another tribute to New York City, this time conveyed through the innocent eyes of a lonely computer programmer played by Griffin Dunne. Dunne, who remains an underutilized comic actor to this day, meets Rosanna Arquette in a coffee shop, determines to date her, and then gets sucked into a maelstrom of hilarious misfortune as he stumbles around the streets of an eerily deserted Lower Manhattan. The cast is full of familiar and welcome faces, including Dick Miller, Linda Fiorentino, Victor Argo, and Cheech and Chong, and the film also features Teri Garr’s finest hour as a retro diner waitress who has trust issues with men. Crying out for a DVD restoration job, After Hours is tremendous fun that also manages to be ever-so-slightly unsettling. Also airs at 5:40am.

2:30pm Sundance
Les Visiteurs (1993 FRA): Exhibit number 5,283 in the “if it ain’t broke, don’t remake it” case is this time travel comedy reimagined (in English) in 2001 as Just Visiting. That film was a massive flop, but the original Les Visiteurs was a huge box office success in its native France. Always reliable Jean Reno stars as a medieval knight transported to the 20th century with his trusty servant (co-writer Christian Clavier), where, predictably, they have trouble adapting to the pace and technologies of modern life. It’s no work of art - director Jean-Marie Poire is probably best known to western audiences for writing the kinky and lowbrow Christopher Lee vehicle Dracula and Son (1973 FRA) - but it’s a pleasant diversion, with Reno elevating the film well above its station. Also airs 12/7 at 4am.

6:30pm IFC
Samurai I (1954 JAP): Part one of a Toho trilogy (the other two air at 8:15pm and 10:15pm tonight) stars Toshiro Mifune as a warrior whose love life gets confusing after he returns from the battlefield. Samurai I (originally titled Miyamoto Musashi) was one of the first post-war Japanese films to make an impression on Western moviegoers, and was directed by long-time auteur Hiroshi Inagaki, best known for later films like Chushingura (1962 JAP), Samurai Banners (1969 JAP), and Incident at Blood Pass (1970 JAP). Shot in ugly Eastmancolor, these films don’t look as good as other Mifune films of the period, but they’re worth a look for genre fans, especially the first one, which has the most action of the three. Samurai I also airs 12/03 at 12:15am, with Samurai II re-airing at 3am.

Wednesday 12/03/03

4:15am Turner Classic Movies
The Tattooed Stranger (1950 USA): This forgotten RKO crime drama features a no-star cast but has plenty of gritty New York City location photography. That’s about the only saving grace of this very low-budget bill-filler about a Central Park murder, but it deserves a mention as it rarely shows up on TV and certainly is an unlikely candidate for so much as a budget VHS release. If you squint hard enough, you’ll see future Hawaii 5-0 star Jack Lord as a detective, but the big “names” in the cast are John Miles (who?) and future TV regular Patricia Barry.

9am Fox Movies
The Alligator People (1959 USA): Holy cow! Here’s an unlikely candidate for CinemaScope. Yes, Roy Del Ruth’s alligatorial allegory of medical science run amok is airing in wide-screen. Beverly Garland, obviously despondent at the cancellation of her TV series Decoy, stars as the wife of Richard Crane, who disappears on their honeymoon only to resurface as the titular people - er, person. With Lon Chaney, Jr. and TiVoPlex favorite George Macready along for the ride, this is a surprisingly good (and certainly enjoyable) example of ‘50s science-fiction silliness. And you’ve got to see the alligator suit to believe it. The film airs throughout the month, but this looks to be one of only two showings in its correct aspect ratio; the other is 12/04 at 5:01am.

3:01pm Fox Movies
Panic in Needle Park (1971 USA): My favorite junkie movie also makes a wide-screen appearance today thanks to the good folks at Fox. I’m not sure what the film’s original aspect ratio was, but the out-of-print laserdisc featured a pan-and-scan print and we’re still waiting for DVD, so this is your best opportunity to see Al Pacino and Kitty Winn struggle through the heartbreak of addiction and withdrawal. Filmed during the heart of a New York City winter, this is a bleak but never boring look at two dropouts with huge monkeys on their respective backs. Sympathetically directed by Jerry Schatzberg, the two leads offer a pair of outstanding performances, ably supported by the likes of Alan Vint, Paul Sorvino, and Raul Julia. If you’re not too busy trying to score some China White in Alphabet City, you’ll want to make some time for Panic in Needle Park. Also airs 12/7 at 8:01am.

Thursday 12/04/03

3:45am Flix
Thunder Alley (1967 USA): It’s been at least five years since this AIP racing drama has been on cable, and longer since it’s aired on a non-commercial station, so rev your hard drive up for this one. Fabian stars as a pro driver who suffers from blackouts (not terribly convenient whilst speeding around the track, I would imagine) and Annette Funicello co-stars as the woman in his life. Director Richard Rush went on to direct other fuel-soaked classics like Freebie and the Bean (1974 USA) and The Stunt Man (1980 USA). Look for Annette’s old flame, Frankie Avalon, in a cameo appearance, and look for the classic soundtrack LP on Sidewalk Records next time you’re shopping for vintage vinyl. Also airs at 1:45pm.

Friday 12/05/03

1:30am Encore True Stories
Aleijadinho (2003 BRA): Sometimes all I can report are the facts, ma’am. Case in point: this biopic about an 18th-century black artist and his struggles in the Portuguese colony of Brazil. Mauricio Goncalves plays the title character, and the film was directed by Geraldo Santos Pereira. I haven’t seen it, and probably very few outside Brazil have. Just thought I should point it out to you. That’s what this column is all about.

6am More Max
Sister Helen (2002 USA): If you’ve fantasized about meeting a nun who swears like a trouper, look no further. Sister Helen was a Benedictine nun who ran a halfway house in the South Bronx for men struggling with substance abuse. This documentary follows the sister’s efforts over the course of roughly 18 months, and details the struggles and sacrifices made by a woman who devoted her life to drug addicts and alcoholics after tragically losing her husband and two sons in the 1980s. Helen is seen cajoling, coddling, and occasionally haranguing her charges, most of whom seem to adore and fear the feisty Irishwoman. The film takes an unexpected turn in the final reel, but finishes on a redemptive and hopeful note that would be considered unbelievable or manipulative in a fictional film. This is a very remarkable documentary about a very gutsy woman who made a difference in the lives of men who could easily have been forgotten by an unforgiving and judgmental society.

11:15am Showtime Extreme
Bruce Lee: His Last Days, His Last Nights (1976 HK): IMDb lists a mind-boggling 46 films which include the words “Bruce Lee” in their title. Considering how few films the former Green Hornet sidekick actually made, that’s an amazing figure. In this Shaw Brothers biopic, Danny Lee plays Bruce and his lover is played by his real-life paramour, Betty Ting Pei, who goosed her relationship with Lee into a brief mid-‘70s film career. How’s the film, you ask? To be honest, not very good, but it’s an ultra rarity, long unavailable on home video and unseen on cable in a decade or more. If you’re a Bruce worshipper or a martial arts fan, you’ll definitely want to catch this...with appropriately low expectations. At least they didn’t cast Bruce Li or Bruce Le to play the lead part. Also airs at 7pm.

6pm Sundance
Rififi (1954 FRA): Jules Dassin’s classic caper flick reappears on Sundance, and with any luck they’ll be airing the dazzling transfer also available on the Criterion DVD. Jean Servais, Carl Mohner, Robert Manuel, and Dassin himself play a gang of jewel thieves about to pull off the perfect heist, until, of course, things start to slowly go wrong. This film single-handedly kick-started an entire genre, setting the template for heist scenes in films like Dassin’s own semi-remake, Topkapi (1964 USA); Bryan Forbes’ Deadfall (1968 GB); and many, many more. Beautifully shot in Paris by Philippe Agostini, Rififi is proof positive that SOMETHING good came out of the Hollywood blacklist, because without it, Dassin would never have relocated to Europe, and never made this film.

Saturday 12/06/03

1:15am Encore True Stories
Waco: The Rules of Engagement (1997 USA): I'm no fan of cults in general, or David Koresh's Branch Davidians in particular, but this powerful documentary will make you question the decision-making process that led to the Waco inferno in 1993. Koresh's group were certainly paranoid millennialists, but their wacky religious beliefs were by no means dangerous enough to warrant the over-the-top reaction of FBI and ATF agents. Initially a standoff about illegal weapons possession, the rhetoric overheated when Attorney General Janet Reno posited that child abuse was going on behind the sect's closed doors. Once that emotional subject was broached - and little proof was offered to support the allegations - the government's patience ran out, and 80 people died as a result. A caveat: the director went on to make a less-than-skeptical film called Crop Circles: Quest for Truth. That doesn't compromise the disturbing evidence presented in this film, but it does raise some questions about the filmmaker's credulity.

6pm Starz!
About Schmidt (2002 USA): Alexander Payne’s comedy/drama about the bittersweet life of a cranky old guy (Jack Nicholson) after the death of his annoying wife (June Squibb) was one of the best films of 2002 and is deservedly getting a full schedule of airings this month on Starz!. It makes its premiere this evening, so if you missed it in theaters, tune in tonight. Nicholson delivers one of the finest performances of his career, reining in his tendency to gnaw at the scenery and delivering a tender and nuanced performance, whilst Kathy Bates equals his efforts (as well as going full frontal!) as the mother of Jack’s future son-in-law (a rather cartoonish Dermot Mulroney). This is an intelligent and moving film from Payne (Election, Citizen Ruth) who continues to look like one of the major American directors of the early 21st century. Also airs at 9pm, 12/7 at 1am, 4am, 11:30am, and 2:30pm, and throughout the month.

5pm IFC
The Terminator (1984 USA): I may quibble somewhat with this film’s over-inflated reputation - dear IMDb voters, is this REALLY one of the 250 greatest films of all time? - but there’s no denying the impact and influence of James Cameron’s hyperactive action film about a bleak future and a man-machine with a big gun. Normally I would let this one slide by, but with IFC airing it, there’s a more than even chance that this will be aired in its correct aspect ratio, so I’m having a date with Governor Gropenator tonight. Keep your hands to yourself, big boy, otherwise I’ll be back...with a can of mace. Also airs at 7pm and 9pm.

Sunday 12/07/03

11am IFC
Zentropa (1991 DEN): Lars Von Trier’s moody post-war piece about a German-American railroad conductor torn between loyalties is deceptively straightforward and certainly serves as a good introduction to viewers who might be intimidated by later Dogme films like Breaking the Waves and The Idiots. Von Trier regular Jean-Marc Barr plays the confused young man who finds himself rubbing shoulders with an American general (a magnificent Eddie Constantine), his crotchety uncle (the always-wonderful and sadly deceased Ernst-Hugo Jaregard), and a host of other oddballs, including TiVoPlex fave Udo Kier. Disturbingly, the film also seems to have served as Donald Rumsfeld’s history lesson regarding post-World War II Germany, as one subplot involves the threat of the legendary (but vastly overrated) Werwolf resistance movement of unrepentant Nazis. Also airs 12/8 at 3am.

9pm Turner Classic Movies
Der Golem (1915 GER): Paul Wegener’s silent classic about the mythical clay giant who rescues endangered Jews is one of the seminal works of fantasy and horror cinema. Wegener himself plays the Golem, an imposing and occasionally fearsome creature activated by the placing of a sacred scroll in his mouth. Vastly influential on the Universal horrors, especially Frankenstein and The Mummy, the film is also a masterpiece of German expressionism and is essential viewing for fans of silent and fantastic cinema.

Monday 12/08/03

12:30am Black Starz!
Little Senegal (2001 ALG-FRA-GER): Black Starz! continues to amaze with its commitment to contemporary African cinema. I haven’t seen this one, but it’s truly a multinational affair, focusing on a Senegalese man who moves to New York City in an effort to trace the path taken by his ancestors, kidnapped into slavery centuries ago. Little Senegal won a boatload of awards at film festivals around the world, so fans of foreign cinema will want to make time for this one.

9:15am IFC
Fever Pitch (1997 GB): Few films capture the bitter love affair we have with our sports teams as effectively as Fever Pitch, the first Nick Hornby screen adaptation, and, sadly, also mooted as a remake candidate for Good Burger director Brian Robbins. Why anyone would want to mess with an essentially perfect film produced only six years ago is beyond me, but I also didn’t understand why we needed an Avengers feature film, so what do I know. Rest assured, however, that (to paraphrase Dobie Gray) the original is still the best, featuring a magnificent Colin Firth performance as a tortured fan of perennially under-performing but always-tantalizing Arsenal. If you’ve ever screamed at the TV set during a sporting event, or simply covered your eyes in fear of what will happen next, this is your film. Also airs at 3pm.

10pm HBO Signature
The Kingdom II (1997 DEN): More Lars Von Trier madness is on display tonight in his sequel to the delirious TV mini-series, The Kingdom. I don’t think the first series has re-aired recently, which is a shame, because you really need to have seen it to fully enjoy the second batch of episodes. That’s not to say you won’t appreciate The Kingdom II if you haven’t seen The Kingdom I, but it will take on the characteristics of a particularly nasty fever dream. Having said all that, this is a terrific follow-up that maintains and develops all the bizarre subplots of the first series. The acting is uniformly excellent and Von Trier continues to surprise and confound the viewer. You'll be howling for more as the Falcon takes his final flight...or did he? Sadly, a third series is now all but impossible with the passing of - you guessed it - Ernst-Hugo Jaregard, whose officious Dr. Stig Helmer steals the show.