Survivor: Amazon

Episode Ten: Q & A

By Dan Krovich

I'll take Dumbest Survivors Ever for $400, Alex.

Last week, well, last week was a clip show, so the week before, Deena learned the lesson about what happens to "the ugly one" in a group of pretty people. Now the Gang of Four - Alex, Heidi, Jenna, and Rob - are in pretty good shape. Deena tried to maneuver around them, and they got rid of her. They have a four to three advantage, so everything is set for them to be the Final Four and they know it. They take this luxury as permission to lounge about while Butch, Christy, and Matt do all the work, and the Three Little Pigs can't really complain or else they're next. "I, for one, welcome our insect overlords." The Gang of Four pinky swears friends forever and talks about missing their family, and we learn that Jenna's mom has cancer. Heidi mentions how they "haven't heard from [their] families in gosh knows how long." Uh, if you can count, it's been 27 days.

The Three Little Pigs may not be able to complain publicly about the laziness they see, but that doesn't mean that they can't in their interviews. They see the situation pretty clearly but are in a bind, so they pretty much have to keep to the grind. Tree mail brings wallets of money, and I still never understand why they always get so excited to receive money when they are nowhere near any place to use it. We all know that this means the auction reward. It's always one of the more boring rewards as Jeff does his best Monty Hall, selling off hidden items. The do the various food bids, and then things do get a bit more interesting when they auction off a letter from home. Jenna, of course, feels as if getting the letter is her God-given right, so there are tears and dirty looks all around when Christy dares to bid on them.

It's kind of amusing that none of the guys come even close to attempting to even making a bid. Christy has more money left than the other girls do, so she wins the auction. After many more tears (and literal violins) they decide to do a second letter auction, and give the letter to Jenna because they know it will make for good television. Jeff tells her to take a "private moment" alone later to read it. Apparently he forgot that they are being filmed all the time. Christy gets a "You go, girl" letter from a high school friend, while Jenna receives news that her mom's tumor has shrunk.

Now it's onto the strategic portion of this week's episode. Matt and Butch realize the straits they're in and also accurately determine that their only shot is to try to turn Rob to take over the voting advantage. The next morning Alex and Rob have a chat about what's going to happen once they get to the Final Four. Alex points out that it's obvious that Jenna and Heidi are going to stick together, so when it's down to four, obviously Alex and Rob should stick together. Screeeeeech! Wait a second, rewind, that's not what Alex says at all. Instead, in one of the dumber Survivor ideas since Sean built that bowling alley, he proposes that when they get to the last four that he is going to vote out Rob. Rob takes a look around his little clique, and the light bulb goes off. He's now the ugly one in the group.

The Survivors next get a questionnaire to complete that will tell them what they think about each other. Rob describes the whole process as a slam book, showing that he is down with the whole Judy Blume oeuvre. He also is beginning to make alternate plans, seeing as how he doesn't like what the future holds in his current destiny, and he has a heart-to-heart with Matt. Rob gives the old "I've been lying to you over and over, but you can trust me" speech, and he proposes to jump ship and join up with the Three Little Pigs. Suddenly, the passive "Go with whichever way the wind is blowing" strategy that those three have been following seems like it might work out.

The immunity challenge is a quiz where they must guess what the tribe overall thinks about each other based on the questionnaire they filled out earlier. "I'll get naked at the drop of a hat...and a bikini" Jenna is shocked to learn that the others think she uses sex as a weapon. The best part of the entire challenge is the abuse that Jenna takes when she learns what the others think of her. Rob wins immunity, firmly putting everything in his hands this week.

So now we are just left with a bunch of Rob soul-searching. His choices are pretty clear. If he sticks with the Gang of Four like he is now, it's been made clear to him that he winds up with fourth place barring his winning immunity. If he jumps to join the Three Little Pigs, then he perhaps improves his chances to get to the final two, but he also pretty much guarantees that the three people on whom he turned his back won't vote for him in the final jury vote. Rob decides to make the alliance shift, meaning he has changed teams more often than Anne Heche, and votes out Alex. Rob also keeps his perfect record of stabbing every member of the jury thus far in the back.