Trailer Hitch for February 7, 2003

By Zach Kolkin

I'm sure any number of men would be thrilled to have Audrey Tautou stalk them.

12. 2 Fast 2 Furious

There's just so much for me to criticize here, I don't even know where to begin. First, let's start with the title. 2 Fast 2 Furious? What is this, Tupac's 37th postmortem album? This is literally one of the worst titles I've ever heard, somewhere in between Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever and Bulletproof Monk. As for the film itself, they've taken away Vin Diesel and both the really hot girls (i.e., all the cool characters in the movie), and left us with whiny Paul Walker and an equally-annoying Tyrese. And we're supposed to think this film looks good? There aren't even any good car chase scenes in the preview - the biggest stunt is Walker driving really fast in a straight line and then stopping. You've got to be kidding me. Honestly, every part of this trailer completely sucks, and as someone who readily admits they were fan of the first movie, I am extremely disappointed in what's seen here.

11. Willard

First things first: the use of Smashing Pumpkins' "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" is perhaps the best use of a song in an advertising campaign ever. When the rats appeared, and Billy Corgan's screaming kicked in, I couldn't stop laughing. It's almost as if some closet Smashing Pumpkins fan studio executive decided to make this movie just so this song could be used in the ads. Unfortunately, once you get past the hilarity of the song, the trailer flat-out sucks. The spot wavers between completely not scary and flat-out gross (Rats coming out of the toilet when the girl sits down on it? Come on now.). Crispin Glover looks just as weird as always, though I suppose this is what the filmmakers were going for. All in all, though I really, really wanted to like this spot thanks to its inspired choice of music, I have to admit that this truly is a wretched-looking movie.

10. Piglet's Big Movie

Every week, it feels like I see a trailer for yet another remake of a classic Disney movie. This time, the classic animated shorts of Winnie the Pooh have been updated into a full-length film starring Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, and the rest of the gang. I say this every time Disney releases one of these new "sequels", but I'll say it again - for the love of God, please just come up with some original ideas. These movies pale in comparison to the classic animated films we all love, and they only serve to tarnish their legacy. I wish I could say for once that this "sequel" was going to live up to the original, but unfortunately Piglet's Big Movie simply looks like the means for making a quick buck, not in any way staying true to the classic tales of the Hundred Acre Wood.

9. Till Human Voices Wake Us

The mystery and spirituality of love seem to be the themes of choice in this romantic drama. Guy Pearce plays a man whose bittersweet memories of the past are recalled when he meets a mysterious woman, played by Helena Bonham Carter. I wasn't overly impressed with this spot, as it really didn't elicit too much of a response from me. Even though I'm usually a big fan of Pearce's work, I couldn't really see him in this type of role, nor did the scenes shown between him and Carter display any strong chemistry. The movie's premise seems interesting, though, so this might simply be the case of a film hindered by poor marketing. Time will tell.

8. Chaos

This quirky-looking film looks, as you might discern from the title, pretty damn chaotic. Apparently the story is about people whose mundane lives are turned upside down when they have a bizarre chance encounter with a perfect stranger. Beyond that, I really wasn't able to figure out much from this preview, but I would imagine that was the point. Much of the effort here seems to be on promoting new actress Rachida Brakni, though it's hard to tell whether this is valid or not, considering we don't hear a single line of dialogue, nor do we see anything which could constitute a complete scene from the film. This is a movie that wears its "artsy" label very proudly, as this spot makes abundantly clear. Those who like that kind of film will likely appreciate this trailer, while everyone else is left wondering.

7. The Good Thief

This slick thriller stars Nick Nolte (looking far better than when we last saw him in his infamous mug shot) as an aging thief who, as the classic storyline goes, is returning to the world of crime for one last job. Though the story doesn't seem to stray much from that tried-and-true plotline, it does look fairly good. Ralph Fiennes (is there anything he isn't in?) also stars here as one of Nolte's partners in the heist, and he is mentionable only because he utters one of the most laughably bad threats I've heard recently in a movie (I'm not going to spoil it here for you, you're going to have the watch the trailer for yourself). Despite this unfortunate line, though, the movie still looks to have some potential, especially for those who just can't get enough of the crime thriller genre.

6. The Guys

The Guys is perhaps the first film (Spike Lee's 25th Hour being the other possible contender) to have 9/11 as its central theme. Sigourney Weaver plays a writer who helps a fire chief write eulogies for his men who were lost in the tragedy. Obviously, 9/11 is still very much in recent memory for Americans, and a film dealing with it runs the risk of being seen as "insensitive" for trying to capitalize on such a horrific occurrence. Nevertheless, I was impressed with the poignancy of this trailer and how it dealt with the issue. I imagine that, for some people, no matter how well- done the film is, it will simply be too hard to take in. For others, though, The Guys looks to have the potential to deal with 9/11 in a way that glorifies the heroes of that day, rather than the sorrow that was caused.

5. He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Don't let the first half of the trailer fool you- this is not another light- hearted French comedy starring Audrey Tautou. Instead, this film is split into two halves, each one telling the same story, but from a different perspective. The basic plotline is that Tautou plays a woman who falls in love with a doctor, and tries to get him to leave his wife and go away with her. First we see the story from her point of view, and then from his, and of course the differences are large. I like this idea very much, and think it could make for quite a good movie. I also like Tautou playing the woman, as it creates an even bigger shift between the character's apparent sweet innocence and her darker side. All in all, I think this film has a lot of potential, and I was rather intrigued by the trailer. Despite the somewhat awkward title, this is certainly a film I will watch for.

4. Blind Spot: Hitler's Secretary

In what is sure to be a fascinating documentary, Blind Spot is merely footage of an interview that was conducted with one of Adolf Hitler's secretaries before her death last year. The film's trailer intersperses short clips of the interview with various praises lavished on the film by critics. It is through these quotes that we are able to discern anything about the movie, and Traudl Junge's words simply serve as a complement to this praise. This movie is the type that people will be interested in more from simply hearing about it than seeing a preview for it, and I think the spot does a good job of sticking to that notion through its use of quotes from reviews to sell the film. Whereas reviewers' praise in a trailer often seems like overkill, here it fits the documentary's marketing angle quite well.

3. All the Real Girls

Although I had not heard about this film beforehand, I was quite interested in this trailer. The story appears to be about a girl who falls in love with her brother's best friend, and how their relationship affects the small rural town they live in. I was impressed with the scenes shown between the lovers, played by Zooey Deschanel and Paul Schneider. This film did recently receive some acclaim at the Sundance Film Festival, so I was a little surprised not to see any mention of that here. I personally think this film looks very interesting, mainly on account of what looks to be some very good performances by many little-known actors and actresses. I certainly will keep an eye out for this movie.

2. Amen

The Holocaust movie theme continues with this foreign film about a Nazi officer and a priest who are determined to expose the Nazi's use of poisonous gas to kill the Jews and other prisoners of the concentration camps. This is obviously a very heavy subject, and the music chosen to go with the spot fits very well. The trailer also did a good job with presenting the story but not giving too much of it away, and consequently I was quite intrigued by the plot. One scene that stood out to me was when the Nazi officer sees the gas canister and then peers into the peephole in the train car, only to pull back immediately from disgust. Overall, I found this spot to be quite good, and the film looks like it has the potential to be a very well-made drama on the Holocaust.

1. Le Divorce

Maybe I'm just a sucker for airy French songs, but I found this spot absolutely charming. The film has an impressive ensemble cast, though Kate Hudson is featured most in the preview as a young American woman who travels to France only to find herself getting caught up in the culture and romance of Paris. Although I don't often care for Hudson too much, I liked her much more here than usual. Naomi Watts also looked good in her role as Hudson's best friend. This movie is definitely selling itself on simply being a fun time at the theater, and I think this angle will go over quite well with moviegoers, especially adults. I also loved the tagline at the end - "Everything sounds sexier in French". This is a perfect example of the light-hearted tone this trailer has that I think will be quite appealing to older audiences when they see this preview in theaters.