BOP Daily News
January 12, 2004
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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It appears Cameron Crowe has found the perfect candidate to replace the Ashton Kutcher in his upcoming film Elizabethtown. Orlando Bloom is reportedly at the top of the short list to portray the lead in the film about a suicidal young man who returns to his small hometown in Kentucky following the death of his father. Scheduling may be a problem, as Bloom is currently toplining Ridley Scott’s Crusades epic Kingdom of Heaven, which begins shooting this month. Bloom did take time out of his busy schedule to assure all interested parties that he is not in any way gay.
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Bruce Willis is apparently still very keen on making a fourth Die Hard film. Willis, whose next project, Hostage, returns him to the familiar action-hero turf, is reportedly eager to revisit the role of John McClane, which established him in the genre, provided the script is suitable. Willis also addressed the fact that the plotlines of the first three films centered around acts of terrorism, admitting that it would be “difficult” to do a present-day story about fictional acts of terrorism. Rumors that a rejected script had McClane trying to prevent an actor infamous for sleepwalking through action roles from terrorizing a theater full of moviegoers with his latest film could not be confirmed at press time.
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Paramount Pictures is mounting the comedy Adopt-a-Con, which has been in Development Hell for almost two decades. The plot of the film, which Paramount sees as best targeted at an African-American audience, is based in part on a real-life Florida penal program where families take in minimum-security prisoners 90 days prior to their release in order to help re-acclimate the convicts to life outside prison walls. The fictional version would place a con with a seemingly ideal family, with the parents intending to have the criminal to give their kids an up close-and-personal Scared Straight. But when the soon-to-be-ex-con moves in, he finds that the seemingly Norman Rockwell-esque clan is actually a dysfunctional group with a scam-artist father and a neglected wife. And hilarity, all and sundry hope, ensues. The producers were reportedly considering casting a certain high-profile pop star in the role of the father until they realized fiction couldn’t possibly live up to the reality.
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Former Buffy, the Vampire Slayer co-star Michelle Trachtenberg has reportedly been inked to star in Ice Princess for Walt Disney Pictures. The film would focus on a brainy ugly duckling type who wants to become a champion figure skater. She aims to make her dream come true with the help of physics, a disgraced coach, three snotty ice princesses, a gaggle of stage parents, and the hunk who drives the Zamboni. Once casting was set, the script was rewritten to include a scene where the Olympics committee adds a special category for Most Boring Routine Ineptly Skated by a Human Blank, and the lead character handily wins a gold medal.
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"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours."
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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