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BOP Daily NewsJune 22, 2006The spirit of BOP News lives on in
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Today’s edition takes a tour of the distaff side of the very popular Brit-com - and not-so-popular American version - Men Behaving Badly, which we here at BOP News have naturally titled Women Behaving Badly. First up is everybody’s favorite “Why is she famous?” poster child, Paris Hilton. Seems no one ever told the socialite that it’s wrong to hit somebody’s car in a parking garage and not tell them. It’s also especially stupid for you to do this when you’re being filmed by paparazzi, who’ve not only got you on tape hitting the car, but the car’s license plate, and footage of you speeding away and out of the parking garage immediately afterward.
Now according to Hilton’s publicist, the unctuous Elliot Mintz, Ms Hilton was “momentarily disoriented” by the “intensity of the lights, flashbulbs” of the paparazzi. Because Lord know Paris Hilton has never been under the glare of the spotlight before. Mintzy went on to assert that his client told him “she notified one of the parking people at the facility how to contact her and asked the person to please pass that along to the owner of the struck car”. Which is an interesting assertion, considering anyone who saw the tape of the incident could clearly see Paris speeding out of the parking lot without stopping. According to Mintz, Hilton is “a very good driver” who takes her motoring “seriously”, and that the “unfortunate” incident will be “handled appropriately”. Apparently there’s a different meaning for handling something “appropriately” in Mintz-land, because according to California law, Hilton should have left her contact details in writing on the vehicle she hit, with the generally accepted method being via a note under the windshield. But of course we’re certain that Paris Hilton will indeed make good on the statement presented to the press by her minion. We’re also certain that, if the BOP Newsroom had windows, we could currently see winged porcine flitting past. However, we’re heartened to see that Mintzy is maintaining his record for associating with only the finest of celebrities who are famous through nothing they’ve done themselves. Rumors that Hilton had consulted Edward Kennedy’s Official Guide to Reporting a Vehicular Incident before deciding her course of action could not be confirmed at press time. |
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You know, it takes a special gift to be held responsible for a chain reaction car wreck when you weren’t even driving, but damn if Paris Hilton hasn’t managed it. In addition to leaving the scene of an accident without leaving contact details for the person whose car she smacked, even though she was being filmed - a pattern, given she and her then-boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos, were being filmed when Niarchos crashed Hilton’s Bentley into a parked truck in Las Vegas - Hilton has been named as a principal in a suit filed in Los Angeles by lawyers representing the occupants of four vehicles her teenage cousin hit whilst driving Hilton’s Mercedes. Which leads one almost instantly to the conclusion that Hilton should stop letting other people drive her cars. Although given her recent accident, not to mention the six traffic violations she’s received so far this year, that might not be enough to solve the problem. At any rate, Brook Ashley Brinson, the aforementioned cousin, plowed into four vehicles in front of her when she failed to react to slowing traffic back in 2004. Given the seriousness of the damage to the cars and some of the occupants, coupled with the poor driving judgment shown by Brinson, the plaintiffs believe Hilton’s insurance company should pay for damages. The suit became necessary when it was discovered that Hilton only carries the legal minimum coverage for property damage, which in California is $5,000. Barely enough to buy one of Hilton’s skanky dresses. The suit is asking for $250,000 for each plaintiff, which, come to think of it, is basic walking-around money for Hilton. Given recent events, we’re thinking Hilton really should rescind that recent invitation she reportedly made to Evel Knievel that he could use her car any time he wanted. |
| And what line-up of Bad Girls Gone Wild would be complete without a story on Lindsay Lohan? Yes, the latest Hollywood train wreck made an enemy of Vogue editor and world-class fashionista Anna Wintour at the recent awards bash held by the Council of Fashion Designers of America because of the inordinate number of trips she took to the bathroom during the ceremony. Lohan arrived with Karl Lagerfeld, who was a guess of Wintour’s, and proceeded to make herself another sworn enemy by getting up a record six times in two hours to “powder her nose”. According to one inside source, Wintour leaned over to Lagerfeld after the sixth trip and hissed at him, “Karl, this is your guest. Control her!” Wintour also reportedly whispered to a Vogue staffer to tell Lohan, “If she gets up one more time, she will never be invited to one of my events again.” Apparently Lohan made that final, fateful trip, because word is that Wintour never wants to associate with the party-girl-in-training again. Reading this story does make one wonder, however, what would cause Lohan to make so many sojourns to the ladies’. An overactive bladder? Too much water drunk too quickly? We have to admit there’s something vaguely familiar about celebrities needing to make multiple trips to the restroom during a party or other star-studded event, but we can’t quite put our finger on it. It was something that happened a lot about, oh, 20 years ago or so. What was it? Well, we’re sure we’ll be able to sniff it out eventually. |
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Our next item concerns Trailer Park Princess Britney Spears. Appearing recently on the Today Show, the pregnant Spears scoffed at rumors that her marriage to Kevin Federline was on the rocks, insisting that the former dancer and wanna-be rapper has been extremely supportive during her recent troubles. Spears was likely referring to the fact that she has been the subject of several visits by the Department of Children and Family Services over the care of her nine-month-old son, Sean Preston, including one after she was photographed driving a convertible with Sean sitting on her lap, and one after Sean was taken to the emergency room and discovered to have a skull fracture, supposedly due to a fall from a “faulty” high chair.
Spears claimed the latter incident was when the child was in the care of his former nanny, and explained other incidents, including the lack of a car seat, as a combination of lack of knowledge about child safety and things she remembered doing with her parents when she was growing up. Spears proclaimed herself an “emotional wreck” due to all the criticism of her parenting skills and the persistent stories about her husband playing around behind her back and being kicked out of the house and - worse still we’re sure - having his credit cards cut off. According to Spears, though, her marriage is “awesome” and Federline “helps” her. The Toxic singer also claims not to understand why the media seems so intent on causing her marriage to fail, saying she finds it “sad” that gossipmongers feel that way. Spears insists, “I think everybody should be pro-love”. Hey, Britney, whatever gets you though the night, babe. We do like this “everybody should be pro-love” idea, and we hope Britney teaches Sean to believe that when he grows up, too. Provided he makes it out of childhood. |
| Britney may have the support - such as it is - of her erstwhile husband, but according to reports, she won’t have her good friend Madonna to lean on. The Material Girl, and charter member of the Women Behaving Badly Club, has apparently ended her friendship with Spears because the younger pop tart stopped studying Cabbala, the mystical offshoot of Judaism of which Madonna is now a devoted follower. Madonna purportedly feels Spears is acting the ingrate after Madonna took Britney under her wing, spending a great deal of time and money instructing her in the current Hollywood fad religion. Madonna’s also reportedly become an Indian giver, demanding that Spears return a 12th-century book on the religion given as a wedding gift. A source says Madonna feels she has “wasted time, money and precious gifts” on Britney, who has allegedly been working with a “Christian life coach” to get through her recent troubles. We certainly can’t blame Madonna for cutting Britney out of her life after the Toxic singer dissing Cabbala, because we all know in what high regard Madonna holds religious beliefs, and she would never dream of disrespecting anyone else’s faith. |
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Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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