BOP Daily News

January 17, 2006


The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.






Strike one name from the increasingly-long list of Hollywood denizens in trouble with the law. Nick Nolte has succeeded in having his criminal record expunged after completing his rehab to the court’s satisfaction. In fact, the Los Angeles Superior Court judge who removed all traces of Nolte’s 2002 DUI arrest praised the actor for his progress and expressed the hope Nolte has truly turned his life around. Nolte, dressed in black for the hearing, told reporters that he’s learned a lot over the past three years and that he hopes to be able to help other celebrities who might find themselves in similar dire straits. To his frustration, however, Nolte has been unable to have his mug shot expunged from all newspaper archives. No worries, Nick; we've all had mornings when we’ve felt like this.





Had his blond ‘do not angered the Hair Gods, things might have gone differently... Things are also looking up for another actor who’s ended up on the wrong side of the law a few too many times. Tom Sizemore, who has lately become almost as familiar a face in mug books and court rooms as he has in movie theatres, is starting to revive his acting career along with his finances. After two years of being in and out of police custody over drug and assault charges, having to star in a sex DVD because he was nearly penniless due to all the legal fees, then fighting to be paid for said role, adding the proverbial insult to injury, Sizemore has landed something on the legit side of the film aisle. His new film, Furnace, will not only refill the coffers, but should also allow him to utilize some of this hard-won experience. In the movie, Sizemore will play a convict who is trying to escape evil spirits that have been unleashed in the prison where he is serving time. He’s also set to star in an upcoming indie movie titled Toxic, which serendipitous though the title may seem, turns out not to be Sizemore’s life story.
Oscar-winning director Taylor Hackford has seen his plans to film the classic opera Carmen with Jennifer Lopez in the title role go down the tubes because investors are unwilling to put up $50 million for the budget. Hackford is convinced this is because the moneymen don’t think J-Lo’s target demographic - which according to Hackford is 13-year-old girls - want to see her die at the end of the film. Not to mention the fact that Carmen the character isn’t all that nice a person to begin with. According to Hackford, they want to do a “tough, hard version” of the story of the thief and prostitute who uses men like some people use Kleenex, but that the ending as written is the kind that “Hollywood does not like to make”. Never mind that Hollywood has changed the ending - and the beginning, and the middle - of many a classic tale throughout the years, or that many a beloved star has appeared in a film where he dies or she isn’t a very nice person, Hackford is convinced Hollywood wants to keep Jenny From the Block in her “girl-next-door “ roles. We think it’s so very sweet of Taylor to ignore the fact that J-Lo would completely suck in the part that we won’t disabuse him of his notion. In a related story, Sherwood Schwartz has reportedly been shopping around the idea of setting Hamlet to music to a number of studios. I ask to be or not to be...









"Vanity. Definitely my favorite sin."
Previous edition's quote: Friends




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