|
BOP Daily NewsDecember 30, 2005The spirit of BOP News lives on in
|
||||||||||||||||
| The cast of Desperate Housewives may soon be known for something other than starring in a smash hit that currently holds the record for earliest jumping of the shark. First it was new cast-member Michelle Rodriguez being brought in on her fourth(I) DUI charge; now Eva Longoria, who’s also been in the news a lot for her antics off the set, is in hot water for boyfriend Tony Parker’s behind-the-wheel antics. Seems the San Antonio Spurs player was chauffeuring Ms Longoria around San Antone this past Saturday when they ran afoul of the law, first by blocking traffic. When a cop approached to find out what was going on, he made the apparently major mistake of touching Parker’s car, which, according to the police report, set off both Parker and Longoria, who began "screaming in a verbally abusive and demeaning manner." Parker then reportedly tried to drive off, nearly hitting a pedestrian in the process. Upon being stopped a second time, Parker produced a French drivers license before commenting that “all cops do (is) just mess with people.” The officer then stated that Longoria shouted from the car "He's just a Mexican bike cop. He only wants your autograph", an odd epithet, considering Longoria is a Latina, a point made by her representative when issuing a statement on the actress’ behalf. Parker was cited for impeding traffic and failing to produce a valid driving license, and Longoria’s statement decried the cop, saying he “conducted himself in such an inappropriate and disorderly manner”. Reports that future episodes of Desperate Housewives will end with a PSA providing detailed maps of where the stars will be driving that week could not be confirmed at press time. |
|
|
Stars often find themselves to be the target of mentally-unbalanced people who fixate on them for one reason or another, but a recent case involving David Letterman may be the first time a court of law has sided with the loony. But such was the case when a Santa Fe District Court Judge issued a restraining order against the funnyman at the behest of one Colleen Nestler, who claims that the host of The Late Show has been using code words, secret gestures and “eye expressions” to express his desire to marry her and to try and force her to comply with his wishes. Ms Nestler stated in the request for the restraining order that she has suffered “mental anguish, sleep deprivation and bankruptcy” because of Letterman’s alleged assault, which was supposedly carried out in his show each night, beginning in 1993. Why the woman hasn’t simply stopped watching is a question the judge apparently didn’t think to ask. The temporary restraining order required Letterman to stay at least three yards away from Nestler, and to not "think of (her), and release (her) from his mental harassment and hammering." Letterman’s lawyers immediately filed to negate the order, citing the very reasonable fact that since David Letterman has never even met the woman, there’s really nothing to restrain him from. The judge hearing Letterman’s motion rescinded the order, with neither side addressing the more bizarre aspects of the woman’s complaint. In a related story, NBC execs are looking into the idea of using secret gestures and eye expressions to convince viewers that E.R. is still a watchable show. |
| Oscar viewers everywhere breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing the news that eight-time Oscar host Billy Crystal has nixed returning for a ninth outing. The SNL veteran cited his current one-man show, 700 Sundays, as keeping him too busy to allow for him to properly prepare to host the 78th edition of the show, which is set to air on March 6, 2006. Considering the quality of the material during Crystal’s eighth outing, one wonders just how much time the comedian needs to “properly prepare”, but we’ll take Billy’s word for it. Last year’s host, Chris Rock, had already nixed any possibility of returning, a move which saddened some and had others breathing another sigh of relief, most of them AMPAS members. Producers are now looking to Whoopi Goldberg and Steve Martin as possible emcees for the telecast. We’re pulling for Steve Martin, who’s been the best Oscar host since the late Johnny Carson. In a related story, producers were surprised to receive an offer to host from Bob Hope, another long-time emcee, but had to turn down the late comedian’s request as SAG rules specifically state the Oscar host must be among the living. Sadly, there is no similar stipulation that the host be funny. |
|
|
Reporters found Woody Allen in a rather candid mood after the recent premiere of his latest film, Match Point. Allen, who is a critical darling and winner of three Academy Awards, said his work is “mediocre” and “miserable” and feels that the fact he wears glasses and that his films always lose money are what makes critics think he’s an intellectual and an artist. Allen went on to say that he’s disappointed himself a number of times, and that his relationship with the American moviegoing audience is the same as it’s always been, stating, “they never came to see my films, and they don't come now.” Allen also allowed that “the only thing standing between me and greatness is me." Shocked at the unusual candor from one in the film business, the world momentarily started spinning backwards on its axis, the law of gravity was repealed and water was seen to flow uphill. However, the appearance of Paris Hilton in her usual almost-covering-her-dinners-and-derrière ensemble and blathering on about how wonderful it is to be her, followed by a snogging session with the nearest nubile male restored the universe to order, proving that some things can always be counted upon. |
"What are you doing Saturday night?"
"Committing suicide."
"What about Friday night?"
Previous edition's quote: 40 Days and 40 Nights
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
|
|
|
Sunday, April 28, 2024
© 2024 Box Office Prophets, a division of One Of Us, Inc.