BOP Daily News

December 9, 2005


The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.






Seeking to prove that anything Ben Affleck can do, he can do better, Matt Damon has taken the next step in the duo’s ongoing struggle for Hollywood supremacy. First, the duo battled for quickest celebrity with Affleck winning the battle. Next, they waged war for top action hero status with Damon’s Jason Bourne overcoming Affleck’s Jack Ryan. The best two out of three falls bout will be decided in an unexpected forum as Damon’s offspring has been created. The still-gestating baby currently inhabiting Luciana Barroso’s stomach will roam the Earth starting next summer. Its goal will be to surpass Violet Affleck, proving once and for all that the Damons are better than the Afflecks. Baby spawning was not the original tiebreaker, but Affleck couldn’t get Damon to agree upon Texas Hold’em as the final solution. My unborn baby could kick your baby's butt.





How do you get LiLo to go out with you again, Wilmer? Promise her booze. Speaking of actors trying to keep up with the Joneses, That 70s Show co-star Wilmer Valderrama seeks to be the next Kelso. Fez has seen his buddy Ashton Kutcher leverage his role as the show’s answer to Kramer into a major Hollywood film career. He’s even seduced a woman twice his age and become the milf-bagging icon of his generation. Valderrama has thus far settled for a couple of makeout sessions with Lindsay Lohan but honestly, which Hollywood actor, producer, stuntman or grip can’t lay claim to that one? Realizing that he is not a unique and beautiful flower, Valderrama is ready to become a movie star. The project in question is CHiPs, a re-make of the 1970s motorcycle cops television series. Valderrama will be portraying a role once made famous by Mexican soap opera star Erik Estrada. It must be brutal to see your future like this but hang in there, Wilmer. Those Mexican soap opera actresses put the bux in buxom.
Memoirs of a Geisha enters theaters today, but it couldn’t avoid some controversy along the way. Critics have recently noticed the casting news about the project which has been available on press releases for over a year now. At some point recently, someone realized that Beijing native Zhang Ziyi is portraying a Japanese character. This has led to a shocking amount of negative publicity from people who seem not to realize that actors oftentimes portray people from dissimilar backgrounds. BOP poses a question to those of you who feel that the criticism is valid. You don’t really think that every actress who has played a hooker with a heart of gold has really bartered sex for money and/or career advancement, do you? Okay, bad example. Even if you don't find the joke funny, you still get a picture of Zhang Ziyi.









"Matt Damon!"
Previous edition's quote: Futurama




Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.



     


 
 

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