BOP Daily News
November 23, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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Casting for the big-screen adaptation of the ‘60s TV series I Dream of Jeannie is heating up, as a slew of marquee names have been floated as front-runners for the title role. According to reports, Jennifer “Alias” Garner, Kate Hudson and Lindsay Lohan have emerged as current favorites, whilst former supposed shoe-ins Keira Knightley and Jessica Simpson having fallen out of the race. After seeing this item, we drafted the following: “Dear Powers That Be in Hollywood. Please, please, PLEASE don’t subject us to another drawn-out casting process where you keep launching trial balloons of names for what you’re probably calling the ‘coveted’ role of Jeannie. We just got done with the Bond mess; we’re really not in the mood for another go. Thanks Ever So, The Moviegoing Public.”
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The race is still on between Madonna and TomKat to see who can garner the most press coverage. Today’s Madonna entry is, thankfully, not about her upcoming album, but instead about her newfound devotion to Cabala...no, wait, Kabala. Or is it Cabhalla...Kabbalah...hell, however you spell the damn thing, and her ire at Paris Hilton and others who, according to the self-appointed guardian of the faith, treat the mystical offshoot of Judaism as the latest fashion accessory. The Material Girl claims the Serial Skank is not really a “believer”, as Madonna claims she and husband Guy Ritchie are; she just wants to be like all the cool kids by wearing a trendy wristband that is supposedly intended for the faithful only. Madonna has been quoted as saying that people like Hilton “buy a book or a band” and don’t really “study” the faith, it’s “very hard to be a believer”. Apparently one has to pass tests and do homework in order to be considered a worthy devotee. Maybe Madonna is jealous because Hilton always gets As without even trying because she’s...um, teacher’s pet. Yeah, that’s it.
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And now a pair of Star Trek items. The first comes from William Shatner, who was recently rushed to the hospital from the set of his current series, Boston Legal, with severe back pain. Turned out Shatner had a kidney stone, which he later passed successfully. And why, you may ask, are we telling you this? Because Shatner is now trying to persuade the doctors who treated him to give him the kidney stone so he can sell it on eBay. Shatner, best known for playing Captain James T Kirk on the original Star Trek series (we offer that bit of info in case any of you have emerged from the cave you've lived in since 1966), believes this will be the “ultimate piece of Star Trek memorabilia”, and should he be successful in convincing the folks at eBay to bend their policy regarding the sale of body parts on the auction site, would turn over the proceeds of same to charity. OK, Bill; we get it. You’ve made peace with the fact that no matter how many other roles you play, you will be known now and forever more as Captain Kirk, but there’s a limit. Then again, considering the lengths to which some Trekkers would go to obtain such a one-of-a-kind memento, we’ve laid down $20 with the local betting establishment that the stone ends up selling somewhere north of $100,000. After all, we’re snarky, but pragmatic, and baby needs a new pair of shoes.
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Our second Trek-related story is regarding the late James Doohan, or more specifically, his ashes. Apparently, the actor who was best known as Chief Engineer Montgomery “Scotty” Scott on the series wanted to have his ashes launched into space, just as Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry requested be done with his remains. But the launch of the rocket scheduled to carry Doohan’s remains into the final frontier has been delayed due to, ironically, engine trouble. Shame they couldn’t get Scotty to work on those engines; after all the times he held the Enterprise’s engines together with the 23rd-century equivalent of chewing gum and chicken wire, he’d probably be able to fix that rocket’s engines blindfolded.
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"The energizer's bypassed like a Christmas tree, so don't give me too many bumps."
Previous edition's quote: Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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