BOP Daily News
October 25, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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Well, after months of speculation, the new Bond has been announced, but the rumor mill still hasn’t stopped. The selection of Daniel Craig, a little-known British thesp, after so many months and so many other, more famous names being floated as possible replacements for Pierce Brosnan has led to whispers that the producers ended up offering Craig the role after being turned down by several other actors. The speculation was further fueled by the fact that every Bond since Sean Connery - save trivia answer George Lazenby - has been an established name prior to taking the role. Hoping to quell the buzz, Michael G Wilson, producer of the last ten entries in the franchise as well as the upcoming 21st film, Casino Royale, felt moved to assure the world that Craig was the producers only choice, telling a press conference that he spent two years looking for just the right actor to play Bond. Craig’s Bond is being touted as a “stripped down” version, and the world of espionage in which Bond travels will reportedly be much darker. Craig has told the press that he wants “to take Bond somewhere he’s never been before.” Which is apparently Beaten with the Ugly Stick-Land.
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The producers have also decided that the shake-up in the venerable franchise should include some of its most recognizable characters. Reports have surfaced that Miss Moneypenny, M’s secretary and perennial yearner for Bond’s attentions, and Q, the King of the Gadgets first played by the late Desmond Llewellyn and most recently by John Cleese, will not be a part of Casino Royale. The reason being given? According to our new friend and Bond spokesman extraordinaire Michael G Wilson, the characters have been written out because neither appears in Ian Fleming’s original novel. And we all know just how closely the Bond films have traditionally followed Fleming’s novels. While some - most of them directly connected to the film - are touting this as an attempt to revitalize the aging franchise, others see it as the dismantling of a beloved icon or an attempt to gloss over the fact that some of the tertiary characters are played by more recognizable names than the lead, although Judi Dench will reportedly still portray Bond’s boss. In other news, reports that the latest megalomaniac intent on destroying 007 will be called Broccoli could not be confirmed at press time.
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Moving from one aging pop icon to another, Madonna has been much in the news of late. One recent, decidedly ironic salvo came in the form of a screed against ...wait for it...materialism. The newly-christened Kabbalah convert believes that the Western world is literally headed to Hell in a handbasket if the peoples of the world don’t change their “wicked” ways. Madonna believes there is too much focus on the “material world” and the “physical world”, which according to the erstwhile singer is the “world of illusion”, a realm with which we suspect she has more than a nodding acquaintance. While we admit to not keeping up with the Material Girl’s musical output, we’re hoping her sudden PR blanket isn’t a signal she’s got a new film sneaking up on us. Because that would surely be included in one of the Concentric Circles of Hell.
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And the soundtrack for the world’s pell-mell rush to Purgatory will apparently come courtesy of ABBA. Yes, in addition to literally telling us all how we’re going to Hell if we don’t change our ways, the Material Girl is also sampling ABBA songs for a new song, giving us hope the sudden media blitz is indeed for her ersatz musical career and not her ersatz acting career. The members of the Swedish supergroup of the ‘70s reportedly guard their musical legacy so closely that any artist who wishes to sample one of their songs must send them a letter, presented by an emissary to the group, asking for permission, which is apparently so rare an honor that only one artist has been allowed to sample an ABBA song. Until now, for reports would make it seem that ABBA has decided that Madonna is also worthy of being allowed to sample one of their songs, and profess themselves to be quite pleased with the resulting track. In a related story, Paperlace was recently panhandling outside the Tower Records on Sunset.
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And from the Sometimes No Joke Can Beat Reality Department comes a report that an arrest warrant has been issued for a former member of the Village People, another ‘70s supergroup that created music for people to have casual sex and snort cocaine by. Victor Willis, who co-wrote one of the group’s big hits, In the Navy, failed to appear in court to answer charges of weapon and drug possession, and a warrant has now been issued for his arrest. Willis played the cop in the original Village People line-up. Oh, the irony.
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"No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering."
Previous edition's quote: Rocky IV
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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