BOP Daily News
October 13, 2003
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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Will Ash Williams again yield his boom-stick against the forces of the evil dead? It’s being reported that Sam Raimi is considering a fourth installment in his breakthrough Evil Dead franchise, in addition to helming a third installment of the Spider-Man series. Being the big Bruce Campbell and Evil Dead fans that we are here at BOP, we’re using this item to encourage Raimi to pursue his desire to make the trilogy a quartet. No joke here, folks; just move along.
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Yet another opportunity for our favorite B movie star to get work has surfaced with reports that the next installment in the Freddy vs Jason franchise may pit the duo against the aforementioned Ash. Apparently the suits at New Line have considered several possible opponents for their battling franchisees, including having the pair fight Chucky or Leatherface, but supposedly the odds-on contender at the moment is none other than Bruce Campbell’s Evil Dead character. Should Freddy and Jason prove victorious - or at least remain in one piece - following that match-up, we’d like to suggest New Line consider pitting the monstrous pair against a certain loud-mouthed comedienne who haunts the red carpets at awards ceremonies with her daughter. If ever there was a more horrific vision than that gargoyle of a kisser that’s had one too many facelifts...well, it would be Michael Jackson, but that’s the plot for the fourth film.
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Along with remaking classic films and old TV series, Hollywood has started a new trend: redoing documentaries as fiction pieces. First was the fictionalization of Party Monster earlier this year; next up is turning the skater documentary Dogtown and Z-Boys into a drama called Lords of Dogtown. The film will trace the genesis of skateboarding as a sport in the ‘70s, when a group of young California surfers took their board style from the ocean to the streets. After running out of old movies, TV shows and documentaries to remake, prognosticators predict the studios turn to public-service announcements and junior high sex education films for inspiration.
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The creative team that visited Armageddon on an unsuspecting public is at it again, with reports that writer Shane Salerno and director/evil incarnate Michael Bay are developing a drama for ABC. The crime series is said to be “inspired” by the real-life tale of FBI agent Eliot Ness, who was instrumental in ending the reign of Mob bosses in Chicago, in particular Al Capone. True to form, Bay will bring in the series way over-budget, with a nearly-incomprehensible storyline and a romantic subplot that even soap fans would reject as too outlandish to be believed.
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With Ahnuld busy playing his newly-won role of governor of California, the planned third film in the Conan the Barbarian franchise will reportedly continue without him. Writer/director John Milius has decided not to waste what is rumored to be one of his best scripts waiting for Schwarzenegger, and so is seeking a replacement for King Conan: Crown of Iron. An insider has also initiated that having to give up on using Ahnuld has other advantages, including the film costing less, less CGI being required, and being able to shoot in exotic locations for which Schwarzenegger wouldn’t have been able to get insurance. Rumors that Gary Coleman was mounting a vigorous campaign to be named the new Conan could not be confirmed at press time.
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"Klaatu barada nikto"
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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