BOP Daily News
July 18, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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Sorry, Miss Congeniality fans, your dream girl is off the market. Sandra Bullock has followed in the footsteps of Renee Zellweger by marrying herself a good ol’ boy. Monster Garage creator/walking tattoo Jesse James has followed up his ill-fated marriage to lesbian porn star/BOP fave Janine Lindemulder by marrying Bullock, America’s sweetheart. We wish the happy couple nothing but joy from here on out. We do, however, wryly note that going from Janine to Sandy Bullock is like going to Wal-Mart and trying to exchange your ass-less chaps and bullwhip for a copy of the Bible.
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The heroes on the half-shell are returning for another dance with danger. The resurgent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will be making their fourth cinematic appearance in 2007 after a 14 year absence. What’s surprising is who has brokered the deal. The WeinsteinCo. has taken advantage of their freedom from Michael Eisner and the new guy at Disney, whatever his name is, by signing up with Warner Bros. The intention is to make a CGI production of the comic book, thereby better showcasing the zany slapstick humor which denotes the franchise’s popularity. How happy are the Weinsteins to be free of Disney restrictions, enabling to take on projects as ambitious as this? Well, BOP pictures the Weinsteins having their chauffeur drive up alongside Eisner so that they can shout out the news of the project then moon him.
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Brett Ratner isn’t satisfied with simply angering comic book fanboys with news of mutant prostitutes. Now, he wants to piss off Chris Rock fans as well. Ratner has slotted Rock to co-star in a buddy picture with Eddie Murphy in a thematically similar film to Ratner’s last outing, After the Sunset. This time, two blue collar criminals will attempt to leverage themselves into the big time by pulling off a high profile heist. No one apparently informed Rock of this, but Murphy’s last non-family film to reach $100 million was the 1988 (!) release, Coming to America. Rock would have been just about as well off career-wise to announce that he married Jesse James over the weekend.
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While a Hollywood darling was being swept away in matrimonial bliss this weekend, a Bollywood superstar faced the press about a shocking revelation. Aishwarya Rai, Miss World 1994 and the reigning queen of Bollywood, is embroiled in controversy. The issue is a taped conversation which allegedly involves Rai and her ex-boyfriend, Salman Khan. The recording made in 2001 sees Khan, already considered the bad boy of Bollywood, threaten Rai with mafia payback if she refused to participate at a mob-endorsed event. Khan has been forced by law enforcement officials to provide a voice sample in order to prove whether the threatening voice on the tape is his. The most shocking comments are “Nobody has been f**king people like people have f**ked you”, “I like his balls. So do you… And you will get to them before I do. And you will lick him through his underwear.” And the most shocking one of all, “What’s your favorite scary movie?”
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"Oh, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel! "
Previous edition's quote: Lost in Translation
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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