BOP Daily News
July 6, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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Kate Hudson must be worried about a lack of celebrity in recent months. The star of Skeleton Key has taken a bold step toward the spotlight today by making a couple of unexpected announcements. The first is that she considers herself psychic. In point of fact, she believes everyone to be psychic. “It’s just believing in your intuition.” The star of Almost Famous goes on to explain that parenthood has shrunk her breasts. Hudson describes her cleavage as “ex-udders”. Clearly not a Harlequin Romance writer, Hudson continues by saying the following about her breasts: “They’re all dried up.” Kate, I don’t think this is selling Skeleton Key in the manner which you intended.
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Prima donna line counter William Shatner is again planning to bite the hand that has overfed him throughout the years. Captain Kirk will narrate the documentary about the oftentimes shaky science of Star Trek in a movie dryly titled The Science of Star Trek. The production is based on Shatner’s book, I’m Working on That. It discusses the difficulties a semi-sentient actor faces in trying to pretend to know how 24th century science works while talking with scientists and doctors at conventions. BOP expects over half the film will deal with the physics of Shatner squeezing into his girdle.
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They might be just some good ol' boys, never meaning no harm, but that doesn’t make them above the law. Due to a snafu with the Dukes of Hazzard, Warner Bros. Studios was just forced to pay $17.5 million to producer Robert Clark. It seems that the man created a film called Moonrunners in 1974, and that project became the basis for the later television series now being re-made. Clark’s attorneys had moved to prevent the exhibition of the film prior to his receiving financial compensation. When a court ruling determined that The Dukes of Hazzard could not be released until the matter was settled, WB was forced to cut an oversized novelty check. This $17.5 million had been allocated to Jessica Simpson for her music video, so budget cuts forced her to wash a car rather than fight CGI intergalactic vampire pirates.
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Angelina Jolie has been battling rumors in recent weeks. They center on the fact that she might be pregnant with child. It appears that these innuendoes were somewhat off-base. As fate would have it, Lady Tomb Raider is a mother once more, but there was not a Brad Pitt-involved conception. Instead, tireless activist Jolie has adopted once more. The newest granddaughter of Jon Voigt is Zahara Marley Jolie. The Ethiopian orphan has led a tragic life thus far, losing both parents to the AIDS virus. Rather than cheapen this act of benevolence by offering a punchline, BOP simply states this. We find it ironic that Jennifer Aniston is considered the good girl and Jolie is considered the insane homewrecker. We’ll change this opinion next time Aniston puts a starving third world child ahead of her career plans.
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"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."
Previous edition's quote: High Fidelity
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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