BOP Daily News
July 1, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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Campbell's Soup stock is expected to receive a dramatic boost in coming days as people stock up on canned goods. That's right, War of the Worlds had it right. The apocalypse is at hand. Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have confirmed that they are now married. Even worse, Affleck's demon seed has impregnated Garner, meaning that at this time next year, the child of dark prophecy will walk...well, crawl among us. BOP would be glad to send little Damien a birthday present (something flammable and/or easily swallowed), but the happy couple's publicist neglected to tell us where they're registered. In the interim, we strongly suggest to our readers that you stock up on holy water. You're gonna need it.
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AMC Theatres loves a Cinderella story. They also (rightfully) fear Russell Crowe. Combining these two thoughts has caused the popular movie chain to take the unusual step of offering a money back guarantee to its customers. If you go see Crowe's latest effort, Cinderella Man, at one of their theaters and find it unsatisfactory, you are entitled to reimbursement. The thought is that the Ron Howard production has scored a 99 percent approval rating from Ron Howard. There is little downside to enticing potential consumers to attend by promising recompense if the experience is a disappointment. BOP is impressed by the clever marketing tie-in, but we feel a much better substitute would be a bloody cell phone personally autographed by Crowe.
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Her name was Domino Harvey and she was a bounty hunter. She had been a lesbian supermodel and eventually wound up being charged as a drug dealer. Harvey was facing a life sentence for her drug charges, but that is no longer an issue. The daughter of Manchurian Candidate star Laurence Harvey passed away in her bathtub on Monday evening. She was 35-years-old. The studio confirms that there will not be re-shoots to allow for the titular woman's death and that Domino will still be released on August 19th. The moment BOP saw the trailer for Domino, we said it was awful enough to have a body count, and now we have the proof.
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Uwe Boll's ongoing conflict with BOP escalated today with the announcement that he would be making another movie, Dungeon Siege. What really rankles us is the casting news. BOP fave Jason Statham will follow up his star turn in The Transporter 2 by taking on the lead role here. In addition, Helen Hunt professional lookalike Leelee Sobieski and Hellboy himself, Ron Perlman, have been added to the cast. How history's greatest monster/director is able to get such gifted actors is beyond us. All we can do right now is angrily shake our fists and say that you've won this round, Dr. Boll. But BOP will be back. Oh, yes, we will be back.
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"Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it can't kill you"
Previous edition's quote: Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Smell of Fear
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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