BOP Daily News
June 14, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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There was great news for the MPAA last week. With the help of local law enforcement officials, Hollywood's answer to Miami Vice, a major crime ring was cracked. A trio of DVD duplication labs were discovered and three people arrested, all of whom allegedly had gangland ties. Investigations such as this one have become imperative in the battle against movie piracy. In fact, this outing was so successful that Manny the Stuntman personally stands to gain 42 cents. You can splurge on the Grande size today, big guy!
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Speaking of studio crackdowns, comic book artist Brad Neely felt the full power of Warner Bros. Pictures last week. It seems that the comedian in training likes to offer up his own version of MST3K with the film of choice being Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Neely is gaining fame and acclaim for adding his own audio soundtrack to the festivites, re-inventing the script as something filled with much more debauchery than J. K. Rowling intended. Warner Bros. has made roughly 17 trillion dollars off the Potter cash cow, so they are somewhat unhappy to see the film being mocked like this. For this reason, they have cancelled contracts for scheduled rentals of the movie print which might include the Neely version of Potterland. Neely seems to be taking the setback well. He realizes better than anyone if this had been a Disney movie he had been mocking, his body would have been drawn and quartered by now.
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Sad news from the Hollywood Lonely Hearts Club. Rocker Tommy Lee, the scuzzball who regularly beats women and children, has taken time out from his busy schedule of, wait, what does he do again? Anyway, he announced that he has dumped Paris Hilton sycophant Tara Reid. It seems that Lee has set his sights on Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover model Adriana Lima, so he sent Reid out to the store to get another three cartons of cigarettes, then sold his house. Folks, how low has your career sunk if the drummer from an '80s hair band thinks he's too good for you?
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Chris Tucker is out of sight and out of mind for most movie goers, but the Rush Hour star knows on which side his bread is buttered. Tucker took an opportunity during an interview where he discussed Michael Jackson's innocence (?) to state that he feels that the upcoming Rush Hour 3 should be much more outtakes-intensive. This staple of Chan's film career might have reached its apex with the unforgettable line, "No, you cannot speak to Jackie Chan!" But Tucker sees that as just the beginning, a strong jumping-off point for a movie of nothing but flubs and bloopers. This causes BOP to speculate that the next film will be titled Rush Hour 3: America's Funniest Home Videos.
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"Who ARE you people?"
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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