BOP Daily News
June 6, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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BOP News has been on vacation for a week and a half, and we want to catch you up on what we missed before moving forward. So, what happened while we were gone? Well, Tom Cruise went on Oprah Winfrey to profess his love for Katie Holmes. Holmes announced that she is researching scientology as her new religion. Chris Klein, the ex-boyfriend of Holmes, was finally brought up to speed on what "dumped" meant and stated that her seeing another guy was uncool. Holmes was spotted sporting the mother of all cold sores, leading people to speculate all manner of deviant behavior between her and her new, presumably disease-ridden fella. Cruise's agents grew so uncomfortable with their prize client's erratic behavior that they asked him to dial down the public displays of affection rather than risk upcoming projects. Meanwhile, Holmes turned down a role in Factory Girl, because playing a drug addict would go against her boyfriend's religious beliefs. This led to Cruise's next wacky outing, a profession that he would like to marry the woman he has been dating for most of May. Afterward, rumors started flying that Mission: Impossible 3 looked to be delayed just as Cruise's agents had forewarned. Paramount is seriously considering delaying it until Cruise has settled down. Brooke Shields (Brooke Shields?) took a retaliatory potshot at the fledgling couple's 16 year age gap as revenge for Cruise mocking her addiction to painkillers. Finally, reports have now come out which indicate Holmes is being safeguarded by a team of scientologists, who are protecting her as if she were the handwritten manuscript of Dianetics. And all BOP can wonder through all of this is "How are Dawson and Pacey handling Joey's fall from grace?"
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Russell Crowe, your latest movie, Cinderella Man, has just opened to tepid box office numbers. How are you going to celebrate? While Crowe might have considered Disney World as a response, it appears that Hollywood's most combative thespian went a different way. The actor took his fighter persona a bit too seriously when he went nuts in a New York hotel room. Crowe hurled a telephone during one of his all-too-frequent tantrums, the result of which was a bystander being hit in the face. BOP speculates that had Cinderella Man opened to Lords of Dogtown numbers, Crowe would be the new Robert Blake.
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X-Men 3 saw its fair share of karma in the past few days. The production got off to a shaky start when auteur Bryan Singer chose to take on the Superman Returns production before handling the third mutie scum production. For his troubles, the man who brought in $675 million in box office with the first two films and also gave Fox its biggest new hit show of the television season was kicked off the studio lot. With Singer gone, Fox assigned virtual unknown Matthew Vaughn, the director of Layer Cake, to X3. Vaughn found himself mired in controversy due to some of his selections to portray versus famed X-Men characters, particularly Kelsey Grammer as Beast. The end result saw Vaughn leaving the project last week because of "family issues", which is Hollywood talk for "You can't fire me. I quit!" Now, the entire comic book world has come full circle as the man Singer replaced on Superman, Brett Ratner, has signed on to helm the X3 production. That's right. Singer replaced Ratner on Superman and now Ratner has replaced Singer on X-Men 3. This is poised to be one of the most epic studio as well as individual pissing contests in recent Hollywood history. In a surprise announcement, Ratner's first casting move was to hire girlfriend Serena Williams as a replacement for Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. We're skeptical if movie audiences can handle a significantly more macho portrayal of the role.
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Finally, the movie Paparazzi proved to be unexpectedly prophetic last Wednesday. Actress Lindsay Lohan, a woman we have repeatedly targeted in BOP News due to her diva behavior, received treatment we wouldn't wish on our worst enemy. Some motard photographer, desperate to get the next cover of the National Enquirer, tailgated the young actress a bit too closely. When she attempted a U-turn to report the stalker to a policeman across the street, Lohan found her vehicle struck by the trailing paparazzi. Lohan suffered only minor injuries from the incident, but BOP hopes that the jacktard who crashed into her gets punished to the full extent of the law. BOP also hopes that the makers of the heinous Paparazzi also get punished to the full extent of the law. We blame Mel Gibson.
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"What would you prefer, yellow spandex?"
Previous edition's quote: Saving Silverman
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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