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BOP Daily NewsMay 10, 2005The spirit of BOP News lives on in
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| Rusty Wallace got to live the American dream yesterday. The NASCAR driver earned his first appearance on BOP News through the attempted murder of Tony Danza. The co-star of last Friday’s release, Crash, was taping an episode of The Tony Danza Show titled the DayTony 500 when the events occurred. It seems that Wallace playfully tapped the fender of the go-kart in front of him. Said vehicle was being driven by inexperienced Danza, who completely overreacted. The host panicked and slammed on his brakes, causing his go-kart to flip on its side. Danza lived to tell the tale, but had he been killed and therefore unable to perform his duties as otherwise useless autograph-signing icon of Who’s the Boss, Alyssa Milano would have promoted to carry out said tasks. |
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There isn’t a week that goes by that BOP News isn’t forced to report some news item about disgruntled Disney stockholders. We’re only up to Tuesday, and we’ve already had to scratch it off the checklist for this week. A minority group represented by bitter outcasts Roy Disney and Stanley Gold has filed suit with charges indicating the search for a replacement to Michael Eisner was flawed. The accusations suggest that due to the haphazard nature of the selection process, the only truly qualified candidate slipped through the company’s grasp. Instead, they were forced to accept Eisner’s choice for a successor, Robert Iger, instead of the unnamed applicant, presumed to be eBay head Meg Whitman. BOP thinks that we couldn’t care less who heads Disney, as long as that person is smart enough to kiss Pixar’s ass at every available opportunity. |
| Our gal Bridget Jones has bagged finally herself a man. That’s right, Renee Zellweger has finally given up serial dating musicians like Jack White and Damien Rice in order to take that next step that Winona Ryder never had the guts to do. The surprise is that it’s neither bumbling cad/former solicitation bustee Hugh Grant nor brooding loner Colin Firth. Instead, it’s country music star Kenny Chesney. The 36-year-old Academy Award winning actress and 37-year-old singer exchanged vows during a private ceremony on Monday at Knoxville, Tennessee native Chesney’s adopted home on the Caribbean island of St. John. This completes a whirlwind romance which saw the couple date for less than four months after meeting at a benefit concert in January. In a case of life imitating art, Chesney had reportedly written a 1999 song, You Had Me From Hello, on her famous line from Jerry Maguire. But he had to wait five years after the song was released to meet her to prove it in person. On an unrelated note, Tom Cruise was recently spotted holding a boombox “In Your Eyes” up to the window of Cuba Gooding Jr., but his publicist and crack legal team assure BOP that our indicating that this means anything would be an actionable offense on our part. |
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George Clooney’s last outing as an attorney did not turn out very well, but the reformed Batman is not letting that deter him. The act is shrugging off lackluster reviews and box office for Intolerable Cruelty and jumping back into the lawyer game. He has signed on to star in Michael Clayton, an indie film that marks the directorial debut of The Bourne Supremacy scribe Tony Gilroy. Clooney will portray a New York legal eagle who is nicknamed The Janitor because he cleans up the financial and personal messes of his upper crest clientele. The details of the plot are shrouded in secrecy, but BOP assumes the stories will all involve Donald Trump and George Steinbrenner in some way. They seem to be the only two New Yorkers ever getting any press. |
"Attila the Hun. Ivan the Terrible. Henry the Eighth. What do they have in common?"
"Middle name?"
Previous edition's quote: Bad Boys
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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Saturday, April 27, 2024
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