BOP Daily News
May 6, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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Over the weekend, Mark Cuban took time out of his busy schedule of pissing off Rockets coach Jeff Van Gundy to sign a new movie agreement for his fledgling HDNet. He hired auteur Steven Soderbergh to direct six high definition projects. What is unique about this particular sextet of films is their distribution pattern. All of them will receive simultaneous release in theaters, on television and on home video. This unusually detailed attempt at media penetration follows the model recently created by Cuban's Magnolia Pictures for Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. While skeptics have wondered about the financial viability of simultaneous multiple platform release, Enron's $8,407 per venue average supports the possibility. Of course, none of this matters to Cuban, who is much more concerned at the moment about Yao Ming's foul situation.
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"Some pilots get picked and become television programs. Some don't become nothing." Samuel L. Jackson is starring in one of the ones that become television programs (Apologies to non-Pulp Fiction fans). The coolest Jedi knight in the universe will follow up his work in Episode III with the titular role in Spike TV's animated series, Afro Samurai. The premise blends hip-hop culture and a music soundtrack with feudal Japanese themes. Jackson's character is seeking to avenge the slaying of his father at the hands of unknown but presumably deadly assassins. Be strong, brave samurai. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men." Plus, those reviews from XXX: State of the Union are going to leave a mark.
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Speaking of all things Jedi, George Lucas has been outed as a prude. It appears that Chinese starlet Bai Ling has recently been informed that her appearance in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith will not be included. The actress was surprised to discover that crazy King George may have had a problem with her appearing in topless in Playboy. Since the timing of her issue coincides with the release of his final Star Wars film, the director wanted to remove the possibility that his project could be linked with a periodical which has the audacity to show the naked female form. Oddly, Lucas has gone on record as saying that he plans to film a television series based on the Jedi experience, and he is leaning toward making Paris Hilton, Carmen Electra and Krista Allen its lead actresses.
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The MTV Movies Awards nominations are in, and all we can say is who in the blue hell voted for these? Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy and Mean Girls are tied for the most nods with four each. Even worse, Jimmy Fallon has been asked to return as the host, assuring all the unfortunate attendees a night of awkward, forced laughter and interspersed bouts of audible coughing when the laugh track sign is off. BOP's favorite category is Best Female Performance, where screen icons Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Swank face off in the purest representation of good vs. evil since Stephen King's The Stand. Other notable nominees include country singer Tim McGraw for his stellar (?) work in Friday Night Lights, R&B musician Ashanti for a movie she was apparently in called Coach Carter, and other R&B musician Mya for something called Best Frightened Performance in Cursed. Presumably, the fear factor there stems from her being cast in that disastrous project in the first place.
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"Who delivers ten times outta ten?"
Previous edition's quote: Quick Change
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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