BOP Daily News
April 28, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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Listen carefully and you can almost hear the sound of Tom Cruise getting straighter by the minute. That's right, everyone's favorite "I did not have sex with that gay porn star!" A-list actor is at it again. Fresh off of his e-ticket ride on the Sofia Vergara express, Maverick is now reported to be visiting Dawson's Creek on a nightly basis. Cruise's publicist has made sure that everyone is aware that the perky, dimply smile of Katie Holmes has been seen cheek to cheek with him in several carefully choreographed media events. Holmes, conveniently enough, has a major tentpole release coming out in a couple of months in Batman Begins, so being seen on Cruise's arm is great for her short-term career. But we are certain that this is no truth to the fact that this entire relationship is a scam. It's absurd of you paranoid readers to assume such nonsense.
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Elsewhere on the rumored couple front, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are no longer reserving their hook-ups for the telephone. After raising phone sex to an art form, the couple is now vacationing together as well. Us Weekly recently spent $500,000 to publish photographs of the couple standing near one another on an African beach. Alas, all of the passionate kissing and heavy petting occurred soon afterward and the cameraman inexplicably missed it. Note to Tom Cruise's publicist: there is an important message here. Showing lots of canoodling looks fake. If, however, you stand around in close proximity on a beach without touching, people's minds tend to speculate that you are doing all kinds of filthy stuff to one another off-camera. You missed it by that much.
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From the Tales of the Unlikely department comes this Broadway tidbit. The Wedding Singer, the Drew Barrymore/Adam Sandler romantic comedy, is being adapted for the stage in anticipation of an opening night in 2006. The 1980s period piece celebration of all things Spandau Ballet and spandex seeks to become the skinny tie answer to Grease. That sounds like one of the worst ideas in recent Broadway history, which is really saying something. Even so, we're there opening night if for no other reason than to see the Rapping Granny number.
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If it's Thursday, there must be a new Bond rumor. Oddly, this rumor sounds a lot like the old rumor. Judi Dench aka M has indicated that Pierce Brosnan, Bond Classic, has been notified that he will return to the role rather than MGM casting a new Bond. Were this to happen, the past year and a half of endless speculation about which British actor would get the gig would be rendered invalid. Even worse, that means that as soon as the next Bond film is finished, we can look forward to the process starting up again for another eighteen months. MGM, for the love of God, will you please just cast Clive Owen and be done with it?
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"See? Billy Idol gets it!"
Previous edition's quote: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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