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BOP Daily NewsMarch 21, 2005The spirit of BOP News lives on in
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| Everyone's favorite snickter, Hugh Jackman, has lined up his next project. No, it's not another flamboyant Broadway production where he sings, dances and makes people question his sexuality. Instead, it's a smallish indie flick called Good, a theatrical adapatation of a...wait for it...play. The story involves a German professor in the 1930s who finds himself leaning inexorably toward a pro-Germany/anti-judaism philosophy. We don't have a punchline for this story. BOP is simply using it as an excuse to post that ridiculous picture of Jackman in The Fountain. |
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The arena of unexpected sequels has a new contestant. It appears that The Butterfly Effect, the generic ripoff of Ray Bradbury's Sound of Thunder concept, will be getting a follow-up. The Ashton Kutcher starrer will not, however, return its male lead. Instead, the sequel will follow the time-traveling trajectory of a new protagonist. Details of the new script are as of yet unknown, but BOP has pitched our idea. In The Butterfly Effect 2: Kill Kelso, a new actor goes back in time and prevents the casting of an unknown idiot as the comic relief on That 70s Show. This also causes Punk'd to never be made and prevents Demi Moore from coming back into the public eye. Finally, it may also prevent Bruce Willis from trying to keep up with his ex-wife by hitting on the youngest eye candy he can find, Lindsay Lohan. In short, this concept would have so many positives it could win BOP the Nobel Prize. |
| But wait! We are still not done with the unexpected sequels. You might have thought that the bastardization of the Final Destination concept in its atrocious sequel would have killed the franchise right then and there. God knows we did. Alas, we are all wrong. Cheating Death: Final Destination 3 is a go. But the news is not all bad. X-Files legends James Wong and Glen Morgan, the talents responsible for the original, return to the fold after skipping the second outing. Apparently, the men learned from their mistake of delegating authority to someone who had a Mouse Trap fetish. The third film will take place in an amusement park. BOP has pitched a storyline where Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are riding Millennium Force at Cedar Point when suddenly the cart goes flying off the rails and out into Lake Erie. We probably would get more suits to return our calls if we ever offered different ideas at our pitch meetings. |
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Finally, BOP fave Johnny Knoxville cemented his status as an icon to the masses the other day. It seems that the world's most famous jackass (other than Bobby Knight) was allowed to pass the velvet rope and enter a hot nightclub in New Orleans. The problem was that his date, an 18-year-old minor named Lindsay Lohan, was deemed unworthy of the club risking their liquor license. Once Lohan was denied admission, the actor apparently shrugged his shoulders and went inside without her, leaving Herbie the Love Bug's newest pneumatic buddy out in the cold. Lohan showed him, though. She later went up to a man 20 years her elder and let him grope her. But again, none of this would have happened if New Line had accepted our idea for The Butterfly Effect 2. Send these people cards and letters supporting our idea! |
"A hooker cut to look like Lana Turner is still a hooker."
"Hey!"
"She just looks like Lana Turner."
"She is Lana Turner."
Previous edition's quote: The Shawshank Redemption
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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Saturday, April 27, 2024
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