BOP Daily News
March 9, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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The grass roots nature of the Internet is creating a fascinating scenario of immovable Internet force vs. irresistible Internet object. It seems that Internet film critics who had the audacity to judge Diary of a Mad Black Woman on its merits and formulate an opinion about the production have committed a faux pas. Several zealous supporters of Diary have taken these critics to task for not agreeing with them about the quality of the work. Roger Ebert, who panned the film with his lowest possible rating, says that he has received more flames about this review than for Passion of the Christ and Fahrenheit 9/11 combined. So, a bunch of busybodies with nothing better to do with their time are waging war against a man who seems to spend all his time eating and watching movies. It's Alien vs. Predator all over again. Whoever wins, we lose.
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The queen of Pakistan cinema has seen her life thrown into turmoil due to a little good ol' fashioned necking. Meera, the country's answer to Nicole Kidman, has been receiving death threats from extremist groups in her native Pakistan. The reason is because she kissed her co-star in the film, Nazar. Not Brown Bunny'd him. Not Vivid Video'd him. Kissed him. Now, the actress is quoted as saying, "My life is ruined. I have done nothing, yet I am harassed constantly." Because she kissed a guy on camera. You know, if Paris Hilton ever got her Sidekick hacked while in Pakistan, they would stone her to death after seeing some of those photographs. So, we all need to chip in to get Paris Hilton deported to Pakistan, stat.
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In pressing news for all our loyal viewers, the subject of which country has the cheapest movie tickets has been decided. Screen Digest reports that India is the big winner in this regard. Their citizens need to work an average of only 16 minutes in order to pay for a movie. This is a full 50% lower than the second place United States. We have to slave for 24 minutes in order to go see the latest sequel/re-make. BOP suspects the reason tickets are cheaper in India is simple. With all the Pakistani import productions preventing kissing, nobody has to be overpaid a ridiculous sum of money in order to agree to make out with Bruce Willis, keeping production costs at a minimum. But if an enterprising US producer wanted to make a film for less money, they could get international screen sensation Meera on the cheap.
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In news almost too impossible to believe, Russell Crowe has asserted that he was the target of a terrorist plot. From al-Qaeda no less. The amateur barfighter claims that in the days leading up to his Best Actor triumph for Gladiator, he was protected by United States federal agents. This was after the government had learned that the terrorist group allegedly intended to do harm to Crowe. BOP suspects that the intelligence was a bit faulty. In reality, it was Dennis Quaid who wanted to see Crowe dead. Since he has seen his ex-wife Meg Ryan's latest lip implant treatment, though, Quaid now considers himself thankful that Crowe can't keep it in his pants.
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Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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