BOP Daily News
February 23, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
|
Jessica Alba must be feeling confident about her role in The Fantastic
Four. The attractive brunette James Cameron discovered for his Fox TV
show, Dark Angel, made a startling announcement yesterday. She
proclaimed that she is done with the casting couch mentality of
Hollywood. Alba states in the new issue of Cosmo that she won't be
sleeping around with Hollywood talent from here on in now that she has
found new love in the form of Cash Warren. BOP is, of course, dubious
that she will hold true to her word. Cash Warren might be great, but
cash itself is better.
|
|
|
|
|
Uber-skank Paris Hilton, co-star of Dark Castle's next release, House of
Wax, has created headaches for a lot of celebrities recently. It seems
that the actress was tricked into giving her T-Mobile Sidekick II
password to a stranger. In the process, the tramp-in-debutante's
clothing gave out the home phone numbers and e-mail addresses of notable
folks. Her Sidekick II included personal information about celebrity
staples such as Lindsay Lohan, Vin Diesel, and BOP fave Mark Cuban. She
also accidentally outed a girlfriend of hers who happens to be an MTV
Latin America veejay. What's astonishing about the heiress's idiocy is
that this is the second time she has fallen for this. Of course, no less
surprising is the fact that T-Mobile has made her the face of the
Sidekick device despite the celebutante's inability to suss out the
technology. Capitalizing on this trend, BOP looks forward to Hilton's
upcoming lines of chess boards and Rubik's Cubes.
|
|
|
|
Speaking of the Hilton crew of trollops, Lindsay Lohan's Nip/Tuch
specialist apparently went too far. It seems the once-innocent starlet
has completed her heel turn into Vivid-Girl-in-training thanks to the
magic of modern science. Her breast implants are so large that
family-friendly distributor Disney is freaking out. Apparently, a test
screening of Herbie: Fully Loaded revealed that the size of her enormous
mammaries proved distracting to audiences. The studio felt forced to
digitally reduce the size of Lohan's chest. BOP is sad that Russ Meyer
is not alive to campaign against this. C'mon Disney imagineers, free the
Lohan Two!
|
|
|
|
|
Rumor has it that Angelina Jolie might not have been the only Other
Woman involved in the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston split. Defamer.com has
some much juicier gossip on the subject. The site reports that Mark
Wahlberg's female cousin was also having an affair with a member of
Hollywood's most attractive marriage, but not with Brad Pitt. That's
right, Ms. Aniston is reportedly having a lesbian affair with Marky
Mark's cuz. We are so excited by the news that we won't even use humor
to deflect our emotions. Unlike One Night in Paris, this is a celebrity
porno BOP is dying to watch.
|
|
|
"Everybody needs money. That's why they call it money!"
Previous edition's quote: The American President
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
|
|
|
|
