BOP Daily News

February 21, 2005

The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.

Like most married women, Sarah Jessica Parker is replacing sex with love. The forcibly retired star of Sex and the City has signed on to star in the film adaptation of Marisa de los Santos' Love Walks In. The Square Pegger will play a woman who finds her dream man...and his less convenient 11-year-daughter. It seems her Mr. Big ditched the kid when she was only two. Sure, such a man might not sound like the catch of the century, but you have to consider it from Parker's perspective. Anybody is going to sound great if you are married to Matthew Broderick. "Straight" men who spend that much time with Nathan Lane are going to be lacking in somes basic areas of husbandry. This is the first image

This is the second image. Donal Logue has taken time off from his Hollywood circuit tennis career to sign on for the cast of Ghost Rider. He will be joined by High Times Hall of Famer, Peter Fonda. Presumably, the latter mind was taken advantage of in his addled state. Fonda likely thought he was signing on for an Easy Rider sequel, and nobody has had the heart to tell him otherwise. For his part, Logue has absolutely no excuse. He's of reasonably sound mind and body yet here he is joining a comic book film starring Nic Cage. BOP recommends that he spend the next two months on the booze and pills binge to end all booze and pills binges so that he has an alibi later. Hey, it worked for Robert Blake, right? What's that, you say? Err, never mind.
Platinum Studios continues its spending splurge by going quadri-comic. The production company has acquired rights to four different graphic novels by Wil Radcliffe. All four projects have two things in common. The first is that they are each tales of the macabre. The second is that no matter how bad any of them turn out, they will all be vastly superior to Ghost Rider. As long as none of them casts Nic Cage. This is  the third image.
This is the fourth image. Speaking of comic book adaptations that went horribly awry, Alan Moore might no longer accept money for his work being brought to the bigscreen, but that doesn't stop Hollywood from making them anyway. The latest project actually has hope, which automatically places it above The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and From Hell. The cause for optimism is the fact that the Wachowski brothers wrote the script and Natalie Portman stars. Coming aboard to co-star with her today is James Purefoy, most recently seen in Vanity Fair. Assuming he can wipe the stink of Reese Witherspoon failure off of him long enough to act, Purefoy will portray a freedom fighter in futuristic Great Britain. His character rescues and joins Portman's character in a fight against the oppressive fascist state ruling Union Jack. Gradually, Purefoy's character evolves into history's greatest monster, but he is largely overshadowed by a bunch of puppets who say things like, "Meesa hope not".

"I'm calling the organization of the United Brotherhood of It's None of Your Damn Business"
Previous edition's quote: Dogma

Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.



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