BOP Daily News
February 11, 2005
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
|
Universal Pictures is trying to suck the fun out of Deep Throat. The studio is lining up a group of celebrated talking heads and spin doctors in order to hype the First Amendment arguments intrinsic to XXX cinema. The subject at hand is the upcoming documentary, Inside Deep Throat, (which has nothing to do with Watergate if you aren't sure). People as attractive as Arianna Huffington and as ugly as Alan Dershowitz will discuss the far-reaching impact of the first mainstream adult title. BOP feels that discussing the philosophical impact of pornography is like discussing the socio-political symbolism of a football to the groin. Needless to say, BOP can't wait for The Longest Yard to come out....err, so that we can help others.
|
|
|
|
|
Mel Gibson is not ready to let his religious money train make its final stop. The Passion of the Christ has already made him money roughly equal to the gross national product of Sweden, but he has figured out a way to keep the dream alive a little while longer. A newly edited version of the film, The Passion Recut, will be released into theaters just in time for the Easter build-up. The new effort leaves five minutes worth of bloody scourging on the editing room floor, making the film more comfortable for younger viewing. Apparently, Mel is worried that kids today don't like blood and violence. Yeah, that explains why nobody buys the Grand Theft Auto games.
|
|
|
|
Don't believe the rumors, people. Not all Hollywood actors are illiterate. Disproving the maxim are Deuce Bigalow himself, Rob Schneider and Owen "Don't call me Rance" Wilson. Both of them have recently taken out their poison pens and gone for the jugular of coastal critics.
In the case of Schneider, the victim is Los Angeles times scribe Patrick Goldstein, a man who apparently resents big budgeted films being made at the expenses of quality indie productions. Schneider angrily derides the man as a "third-rate, unfunny, pompous reporter". BOP would point out that all of these attributes other than "reporter" could be equally descriptive of the former SNL star, but we are afraid he might find our email address.
|
|
|
|
|
For his part, our boy Owen attacks New Yorker contributor David Denby for a full-on assault of Wilson's life partner, Ben Stiller. Apparently, the writer focused more on Stiller's physical features, particularly the size of his pate, instead of his body of work. The fact that Stiller's eyes and his judaism were highlighted an equal amount to his work in classics like Envy and Duplex is what flared Wilson's hook nosed nostrils. Rance...err, Owen describes Denby as the perfect combination of villain, bully and jerk. He professes he would like nothing better than to give the writer his comeuppance "But that's Jackie Chan's role". That's funny, but BOP still scores this round for Schneider.
|
|
|
|
On a larger point, BOP is disgusted by the news that less gifted writers would mock celebrities for reasons as irrelevant and/or innocuous as their physical appearance or quality of films. Hey, have you seen the pictures of Tara Reid's botched breast implants? Nick Nolte's mug shot? And didn't Alone in the Dark suck goat feces?
|
|
|
|
"They're breakdance fighting!"
Previous edition's quote: Swingers
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
|
|
|
|
