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BOP Daily NewsFebruary 2, 2005The spirit of BOP News lives on in
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| Zombie survivor Naomie Harris has found out what happens 28 Days Later. She has signed on to co-star as a gypsy queen (beware of typecasting!) in the upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean sequel. Harris joins fellow Brit Keira Knightley on the project, meaning that Coupling star Jack Davenport is probably out under the arcane “Only two cockney accents per film” Hollywood casting rule. |
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BOP fave Niki Caro continues to add to her dream cast for the upcoming project based on Lois Jenson’s sexual harassment lawsuit. Sissy Spacek, Sean Bean, and Woody Harrelson have joined the previously announced cast of Charlize Theron and Frances McDormand. Out of this quintet, Bean is the only actor who has not been nominated for an Academy Award. In order to rectify this, Bean plans to wear a fat suit and make out with Christina Ricci while pretending to be a wheelchair-bound pornographer. |
| Milos Forman and Nicolas Cage have been getting the most out of their cable programming lately. The men have decided to make a movie about poker, presumably after watching endless hours of it on ESPN. And Fox Sports. And the Travel Channel. And Bravo. Way to be creative, guys! At least the duo has chosen an appropriate subject. Legendary player Amarillo Slim Preston will get the biopic treatment in this feature. Arguably the most well known name in the history of the sport, Amarillo Slim has been a one man quote machine for the body of his life. Perhaps his best known statement is, “Look around the table. If you don’t see a sucker, get up, because you’re the sucker.” On a seemingly unrelated note, BOP wishes Ben Affleck continued success in his nascent secondary career as a card shark. |
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DreamWorks has made a real Hollywood dream come true. Jeff and Craig Cox, brothers and novice writing partners, have sold their first story idea to the studio. The project will be set in the highly competitive and not at all effeminate world of men’s figure skating. The fascinating aspect of the story is that one brother works behind the scenes at E!, while the other is a barista at Starbucks. The irony here is that some would-be prima donna M.A.W. is going to blow this guy off when Cox flirts with her while serving drinks tomorrow. She will never realize that fraternizing with him would have gotten her a role. Of course, if he’s a fan of men’s figure skating, maybe that isn’t applicable here.
BOP looks forward to all of your hate mail, men’s figure skating fans. After all, it’s what Brian Boitano would do. |
| UweBoll.com was hacked yesterday. The message offered by the anonymous surfer was simple. "Dear Dr. Boll: please stop making movies." BOP generally frowns on Internet mischief, but we are going to make an exception here. This hacker is our early frontrunner for BOP Hero of the year. Wait a minute, Dr. Boll? BOP didn't know you can get a doctorate in Suck. |
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"You say this is your first lesson?"
"Yes, but my father was a piano *mover*."
Previous edition's quote: Quick Change
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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Saturday, April 27, 2024
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