BOP Daily News
May 27, 2004
The spirit of BOP News lives on in
This is So Last Week,
our pop culture week-in-review,
presented in a pleasing quiz form.
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Uh-oh; seems that Pierce Brosnan didn't get the memo that the Broccolis are ready to kiss and make up, at least judging by a recent report that the current Bond is eager to have Quentin Tarantino direct the next film in the franchise. Tarantino recently expressed in print his desire to direct a Bond film with Brosnan as 007, and when questioned about the idea, Brosnan was reportedly very enthusiastic, feeling that Tarantino would bring a sense of "excitement and danger" to the franchise, much as Lee Tamahori did with Die Another Day. Unfortunately, the "excitement and danger" of which Brosnan speaks would mainly be for the audience in trying to understand the damned thing.
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Aw, poor little Britney Spears isn't having fun pretending to be talented any more. The Toxic singer - who really should fire her PR people for not recognizing what an open invitation to a punchline that album title is - is reportedly severely depressed because her 15 minutes of fame is nearly up. Actually, the reports say she's depressed because she's getting lousy reviews for her latest lip-synching extravaganza - we refuse to call a show "live" when 99.9% of the music heard has been pre-recorded - and contractual obligations mean she has to continue suffering the slings and arrows of critical calumny. After failing to succeed in Germany, Spears has now taken her tour to France, probably because she figures if they like Jerry Lewis, they'll accept just about any crappy entertainer.
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Then again, maybe Britney is depressed because she lost out on playing Daisy Duke in the threatened - we mean upcoming - big-screen version of The Dukes of Hazzard. The producers decided to go with another crappy singer who's only about five minutes into her allotted 15, Jessica Simpson. After hearing she was the producer's choice, the blonde bimbette reportedly stated she wanted to "wear those shorts so bad". While we have no doubt that everything about Simpson's portrayal of Daisy Duke will be "so bad", we can't help but be grateful for anything that might prevent her and her equally-dimwitted husband from trying to become the next Sonny & Cher, except with only half the talent.
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When you're a Hollywood mega-star, you end up having to deny the strangest things. Tom Cruise's people are hotly denying recent reports that the star is following what has to be one of the oddest LA trends yet: the completely hairless adult body. A source claimed that Cruise had jumped into this supposed craze with both feet, and alleged that Cruise "has no hair on any part of his body except for his head." Representatives for the Last Samurai star, however, claimed Cruise would not be part of this trend. We're not sure if that's because the trend doesn't really exist, or because Cruise is already part of a bigger Hollywood trend on account of being a Scientologist. Either way, knowing how much hair Cruise - or any celebrity, for that matter - may or may not have on his or her body is about three counties over the TMI line for us.
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"They usually reckon dogs more than people in England. You'd expect something more palatial."
Box Office Prophets offers quality, reliable news about the entertainment industry. BOP is also entertaining. To that end, please be advised that some content in this column is intended to be humorous and should not be considered factual.
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