BOP Daily News

October 20, 2003

No, really, I was...imprisoned by a tribe of African pygmies. Thatís the ticket.

Paramount has greenlighted Sebastian Knight, scripted by Bruce Almighty co-writer Steve Koren. Seann William Scott, best known as Stifler in the American Pie franchise, is currently in talks to star in the romantic comedy about a woman addicted to self-help books and programs who has a one-night stand with a guy she just met. She later learns the man in question is a CIA agent who slept with her to get himself out of a dangerous professional situation. Man, weíve heard some lame excuses for never calling again...

She married *Tom Green*. How could the girl *not* need dating help?

Owen Wilson may be teaching Drew Barrymore how to date. On-screen, that is. DreamWorks would like Wilson to come aboard its Date School project, which stars Barrymore as a woman who is determined to find the love of her life but is lousy at dating. In desperation, she turns to a dating instructor, who will be played by Wilson if negotiations are successful, for help. Given some of Drewís recent choices for male companionship, this may be a role she really wants to take off-set.

Deuceman. The Deucester. Deuce-omania. Making sequels. Rob Schneider, who continues to get film work against all logic, wants his Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo sequel to be more adult in tone. Schneider is said to be unhappy with the idea of making sure the film is rated PG-13, as he thinks this hurts the comedy. An example of some of the funny that would be available if Schneider gets his way and goes for an R rating is a scene that would have Deuce servicing a young woman who wears a veil to hide the injuries she suffered in a horrific car accident that killed her twin brother (we can hear you laughing already). She tells Deuce that her face was reconstructed with some of her brother's parts, and youíve probably already figured out what part of his anatomy became her nose. Hysterical, isnít it? Schneider also reportedly wants the filmís big finale set at the 73rd Man-Whore Awards. The film would be more accurate were the finale set at the Razzies.

It was this or another picture of Schneider. We think this is the better option.

Universal has greenlighted Void, a crime drama centering on a female homicide cop in Chicago who is transferring a dangerous criminal she put behind bars from one prison to another. This being the movies, the transfer, naturally, does not go smoothly, and the woman must deal with the consequences. After dealing with that situation, the cop will then be ready to face her next challenge: arresting Rob Schneider for impersonating a comic actor.

This one time, at band camp...

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